Beyond the Punchline

Now Available: Beyond the Punchline 2007 Year in Review

2009-01-26T14:10:00.007-05:00

Better late than never :)

Think of it less as "current events" and more as a "historical document", right up there with the Bible, the 9/11 Commission Report and MAD magazine ;P

Order your piece of history today!

Also available "Beyond the Punchline: 2006 Year in Review"... same sh*t, different pile :)

Bhutto's Son Named Her Successor: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hey folks. This is going to be my last cartoon for a little while.

I started doing these nightly web-comics back on December 13th 2005. 536 cartoons and (now) two books later, I figured this would be a good time for me to take a little break and hopefully regain some of the sanity I've no doubt lost obsessing over current events for the last two years ;)

As always, thank you for stopping by and checking out my work. Hopefully you will continue to come by and enjoy the archives... while I'm away, enjoying the geese and squirrels at the sanitarium ;)

Don't worry, I'll be checking-in periodically to remind you that I'm still alive; and of course, to let you know when the 2007 "Year in Review" is available to order.

Until then, I want to wish you all the best for the new year and I'll catch up with ya' (reloaded and reinvigorated) sometime in 2008.

Peace :)

Benazir Bhutto 1953 -2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tiger Attack At San Francisco Zoo: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Pope Benedict Delivers Christmas Blessing: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

NORAD Tracks Santa Around The World: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Zimbabwe Prints New Banknotes: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

Putin Named Person of the Year: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-21T00:00:00.001-05:00

Dick Cheney's Office Fire: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

With all the investigations into the multitude of misdeeds committed by the Bush Administration, I seriously doubt that "terrorism" was the first thing on most people's mind when they heard that Dick Cheney's office mysteriously caught fire.

I mean sure, current U.S. foreign policy has done more to encourage and incite terrorism than deter it; but somehow I don't think that involves terrorist's traveling all the way to Washington just to return the favor, by enabling the Vice President to elude oversight and accountability by helping him destroy CIA interrogation tapes, visitor logs and other subpoenaed documents, under the guise of an "electrical fire".

Of course the claim that this was anything but accidental is purely speculative, at least without the evidence to support it... like the charred remains of Cheney's "pants on fire" ;)

Peter Jackson Plans New "Hobbit" Films: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

If the key to success is to always leave your audience wanting more, then I have to admit that by the end of Peter Jackson's "Return of the King", I'd had my fill of Middle Earth ...and multiplexes in general.

Now don't get me wrong, the movies were great, especially when compared to the usual brand of insipid, uninspired, vanity driven vehicles that Hollywood plops out on a regular basis. In fact, I would say that Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" was probably the last great epic that truly warranted the price of admission, to be admired on the big screen. Yet unfortunately, while the movies themselves were good, the experience of going to the cinema to see them is what I believe has contributed to the sharp decline in box office attendance ever since.

I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to share the same excitement as moviegoers who are also willing to line up for hours to express that enthusiasm, by being the first to take a seat inside the theatre; and in the process, create a vortex that eventually sucks everyone else into lining-up ridiculously early as well.

Having to stand in line for three hours just to get a seat because those in front of you decided they had nothing better to do with their day, is frustrating enough... but when the mouth breathers who initiated this chain reaction end up passing out and being carried away, leaving you and everyone else trapped in a line which they started, the ultimate movie-going experience is no longer eagerly anticipated... it's damn well expected.

Castro Hints At Retirement: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

Perhaps realizing that he can't take Cuba with him, an ailing 80 year-old Fidel Castro has finally started to consider the possibility that he might eventually one day pass away; and in doing so, leave his country without a dictator to carry on his socialist agenda, which began in 1959.

In a letter to state television, Castro hinted at retiring by expressing his concerns about clinging to office and obstructing the path of younger people; however, I wonder if by "younger" Fidel is simply referring to his 76 year-old little brother, Raul.

Well, I guess if there is one good thing to be said about dictators, it's that at least they're not pharaohs, who bury their servants alive with them. Rather, it seems that dictators are so reluctant to prepare for their own demise that such attention towards the fate of their own people is barely even considered... which at least gives them a fighting chance.

Musharraf Ends Pakistan Emergency Rule: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-17T00:07:00.000-05:00

Click here to read more about Pakistan's State of Emergency.

Baseball Stars Outed In Steroid Report: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

As revealed in the Mitchell Report, the use of performance enhancing drugs in professional baseball has reached epidemic proportions among its athletes; who despite the league's attempts to improve its anti-doping policy, have had their widespread use of steroids go undetected... at least until now.

In response to this investigation, many recommendations have been made to help improve baseball's image by eliminating its "drug culture" from the clubhouse. However, in as much as it should be the players who are held accountable for their actions, I also believe the teams themselves should bare responsibility for their inaction, by creating atmospheres of complacency that enabled such abuse to occur.

The way I see it, since steroid use has become so rampant in major league baseball, rather than testing and punishing players on an individual basis, why no implement a team-based policy... resulting in one BIG urine sample? Thus, if the roster fails its "communal" drug test, the team does not play and forfeits each game, until it is finally clean.

I think that you would find that with the absence of gate venue to help pay for their players' contracts, organizations would suddenly become a lot more pro-active in flushing out the juicers, so that the rest of the team could go back on the field and continue to make money.

Ike Turner 1931 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

Despite his accomplishments as a "rock n' roll pioneer", it appears that Ike Turner will probably be remembered more for "hits" on his ex-wife than on the pop charts during the 60s and 70s.

To those who grew up after the detonation of his marriage to Tina Turner, "Ike Turner" became a synonym for domestic abuse... thanks in no small part to the Hollywood biopic "What's Love Got To Do With It" and its Oscar nominated performance by Lawrence Fishburne.

Led Zeppelin Stage Reunion Gig: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

The reaction to Led Zeppelin's reunion 27 years after the band split up, makes me wonder which of today's "popular" artists would be as celebrated in as many years... My guess would be Led Zeppelin :)

Now, I'm not saying that all of today's music is terrible; but I'm pretty sure that in the 1970's there weren't that many people under 30 who were so dissatisfied with the music scene, they wished for popular bands from the 40's to comeback and help improve the situation. Come to think of it, I wonder if any of them are around today... at least they play their own instruments.

If Led Zeppelin does decide to remain together and go on tour, I hope the band saves the 30 year-old nostalgia for the stage and not the hotel rooms and underage groupies; who knows, one of them might be a grandchild.

Oprah Endorses Obama for U.S. President: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-11T00:00:00.001-05:00

Point out someone whose political views are shaped by celebrity endorsements and I will join you in mocking them :D

Perhaps this is just an American phenomenon; but to me, the idea of supporting a candidate based solely on the recommendation of a popular TV personality makes about as much sense as recruiting a Heisman trophy winner to conduct open heart surgery. The way I see it, celebrities are a distraction from our problems, not a solution to them.

If Americans thought Christian conservatives were uninformed and easily manipulated, then take into consideration the belief that the millions of women who watch Oprah everyday not only need the talk show maven to tell them to vote, but apparently who to vote for as well... At least God is humble enough not to endorse candidates and allow his followers to cast their own ballots.

CIA Destroys Terrorist Interrogation Videos: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

If the CIA destroys videos of terrorism suspects because they have no "intelligence value", rather than to conceal their use of "harsh" interrogation methods, then I can't wait until they finally get around to dealing with American Idol... because watching that rubbish is absolute TORTURE!

While I understand the decision by the CIA to withhold specific information about the tapes over fears that it may tarnish the agency's reputation, I also know that 2002 was almost six years ago; and the way I see it, after all that's happened in recent years, accusations of torture do not damage its reputation... it IS its reputation.

Perhaps the problem is that to the CIA, "transparency" means that nobody is supposed to see them. It seems to me that in order to improve its standing within the international community, the agency needs to open up, rather than close itself off to the rest of the world. People are inherently afraid of the unknown... but they are even more fearful of things like rendition and water-boarding.

If the CIA is unable to release actual footage of its interrogation practices to the public then at the very least they should make an effort to create something like it. For example, instead of water-boarding to produce the effects of drowning, the suspect could be tickle-tortured to produce the effects of flooding... That is unless the guy they use to play Bin Laden is too busy ;)

The John Darwin Disappearance: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-07T00:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before... An amnesiac canoeist walks into a police station and throws his hands in the air. "I give up!" he tells the officer on duty. "What did you do?" he asks in return. "...I looked everywhere, but I still can't find my f*cking canoe!" :P

Personally, I don't know what's worse, perishing in a canoe accident... or merely pretendin g to. I mean, sure people have lost their lives in canoes before and the bodies were never recovered; but "Deliverance" was a movie, and the only reason why it happened was because hillbilly's were shooting at them... not because they were "sinking" in debt.

You know, for all the effort that John Darwin made to stage a convincing canoe accident to fake his own demise and disappear for five years, one might think that he would have been a bit more creative in his explanation upon his return. Look, if it's really that easy to fool British authorities then why didn't he just pretend to have amnesia in the first place and then tell all the bill collectors phoning his house that they've got the wrong number?

Ahmadinejad Declares Victory over US: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

Forget terrorism or nuclear annihilation, it seems to me that the real danger to the United States (or at least its reputation) appears to be the threat of absolutely NOTHING.

Such was the case when they couldn't find Bin Laden in Afghanistan or WMDs in Iraq; the Bush Administration has thrown the U.S. into one unwinnable situation after another, by losing its justification for military action (for the third time!)... and in doing so has guaranteed itself defeat, by handing victory over to countries for literally doing NOTHING.

Fortunately with Iran, the U.S. did not have to commit billions of dollars and thousands of troop lives towards the realization that its government was wrong (yet again).

Bush Criticized After Iran Report: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-05T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, I completely understand President Bush's reluctance to accept a U.S. intelligence report determining that Iran halted its atomic weapons program back in 2003; after all, this is the same intelligence community from which he cherry-picked false information to justify his ill-fated invasion of Iraq... I mean, how creditable can they possibly be?

Despite the fact that Iran's nuclear capabilities never presented any real threat, the Bush Administration appears less-than-thrilled by the revelation that Tehran is not pursuing nuclear weapons. Unlike Libya, whose decision to halt its WMD program was good enough for the White House, President Bush is holding firm on Iran, by demanding that it somehow unlearns what it already knows... presumably through some sort of collective amnesia; like the one which makes 24% of Americans forget the fact that Bush has never been right about ANYTHING!

So while he insists that "all options" are still on the table with regards to dealing with the nuclear "standoff" with Iran, my guess is that giving up and figuring out another route to the oil isn't one of them.

Chavez, Putin Push To Expand Power: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

To me, the delicate nature of democracy is no more evident than in the manner in which it can easily be used to "self-destruct" (seemingly at anytime)... provided that there are enough "accomplices" to help make it happen. After all, a democratic state is merely one in which its people are free to make their own decisions, even if the result yields the willful surrender of that right.

Venezuela's negative experience with "Western $tyle" democracy helped give rise to Hugo Chavez and his "Bolivarian revolution". And while people's distrust of capitalism and U.S. influence may have allowed for some of his reforms, Venezuelans appear unwilling to let their "democracy" be used to trade in a familiar system of governance for one which they've never had (with perhaps the exception of past "dictatorships").

Unlike Russia, where fond memories of its glory years as a Communist Superpower combined with its disastrous introduction to capitalism has given Vladimir Putin an extended mandate to use democracy to undo itself and revert the nation back to the familiarity of past Soviet-era "stability"... complete with accusations of intimidation and vote-rigging.

Evel Knievel 1938 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

It seems to me that since Evel Knievel is no longer suffering the accumulated pain of his years of daredevil motorcycle jumping, now would probably be a good time for him (or at least those on his behalf) to start planning his long awaited comeback.

I mean think about it, what an amazing opportunity it is for a stunt performer who routinely risked life and limb to entertain his millions of fans, to finally be able to return to the spotlight he craved after years of debilitating illness and injuries; and take motorcycle jumping to a whole new level... without having to worry about the consequences.

Personally, I can't think of a more fitting tribute to a man who was celebrated as much for his spectacular jumps, as he was for his bone-splintering landings ;)

Sudan's Islamic Teddy Bear Scandal: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

Alright, I can see how people might get offended when a newspaper prints cartoons depicting their religious icons as terrorists... but where is the harm in naming a teddy bear after a child, who happens to also be named after the most revered figure in Islam?

I mean, if this is the sort of touchy attitude that Muslim's have towards the representation of their prophet (especially by Westerners), then why do so many of them insist on naming their children after him; because let's face it, not everyone grows up to become a "messenger of God"... if you know what I mean.

Look, it's one thing for a teacher to offend Islam by letting her students name a stuff toy after a boy named "Muhammad"; but if that kid isn't exactly the star student, then not only should the entire class be thrown in jail, but the child's parents as well.

It seems to me that with all this outrage being expressed towards the Sudanese government for their imprisonment of a British woman for what appears to be a cultural misunderstanding, the furor over the "Muhammad Bear" may quickly turn into the frenzy over this Christmas' "Tickle-Me Elmo".

Musharraf Resigns from Military: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, for a military ruler whose declared marshal law, President Pervez Musharraf appears to be an awfully benevolent dictator... at least by Burmese standards.

I mean, since imposing his state of emergency, Musharraf has permitted exiled former prime ministers to return and openly challenge his leadership and has even agreed to give up command of the nation's military, thus relinquishing his only real power base.

Sure, these can be viewed as positive steps towards reinstating Pakistan's democracy, but I thought "marshal law" was suppose to take that away... not give it back.

Now, it seems to me that for a country that has been under the repressive rule of a military regime for the last eight years, Pakistan's state of emergency has actually moved the nation closer to democracy under marshal law than it ever was without it. Either that, or Musharraf is doing things all wrong... But I won't tell him, if you don't ;)

Bush Hosts Israeli Palestinian Peace Summit: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

While President Bush is not in favor of any timetables with regard to ending his own wars, apparently he has no problem adding them to other conflicts; which under his mediation, makes the prospect of peace between Israeli and Palestinians appear as likely as a Beatles reunion.

Now, I don't mean to be pessimistic towards a summit aimed at helping to end 40 years of bitter violence, but how can there possibly be any peace negotiations if one side of that conflict isn't even invited to participate?

Oh sure, Iran, Hezbollah and Hamas can be excluded ... but they certainly can't be ignored; especially when Tehran is announcing the development of new long-range missiles, capable of striking Israel.

The way I see it, real progress in resolving the Israeli/Palestinian (and greater Arab) conflict does not involve carefully stage-managed hand shakes between Ehud Olmert and Mahoud Abbas at a U.S. Naval Academy, but actual dialog between adversaries at a neutral location; which unfortunately for President Bush means that negotiations would probably take much longer than the 14 months that he has left to salvage his legacy.

Cheney Diagnosed With Irregular Heartbeat: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

If one's body is their "temple" then Dick Cheney's physician must be Indiana Jones. I mean, how else can you explain the longevity of such an unhealthy individual (in such a high stress occupation) other than to assume that he's got the holy grail hidden somewhere up his "Canyon of the Crescent Moon"?

You know, for someone who even calls himself the "Darth Vader" of the Bush Administration, Dick Cheney appears to be just one popped paper bag away from the "dark side"; which for a guy who apparently never leaves home without his hazmat suit, must give the Secret Service panic attacks at night.

Well, despite the pain and suffering already brought to millions of people through his disastrous foreign policy, I guess it's good to know that Dick Cheney is not actually firing on all cylinders... which may explain why the rest of us are still around today ;)

Australia Votes For Political Climate Change: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-26T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, if the intention of "The Project for the New American Century" was for the United States to assert its "influence" throughout the world, then perhaps the outcome of Australia's election can STILL be interpreted as a victory for the Neo-conservative think tank, even if the results can be viewed primarily as a rejection of it.

From America's policy (or lack thereof) on climate change to its "War on Terror", it seems that the desire by the U.S. to shape the rest of the world may have worked too well; to the point that all a politician seemingly has to do nowadays is oppose whatever the Bush Administration is in favor of, in order to gain the trust of his or her nation. Meaning that the closer the ties are to Washington, the easier it appears for the opposition to gain control of that country.

The way I see it, by signing on to the Kyoto protocol and withdrawing troops from Iraq, Kevin Rudd's landslide victory over Prime Minister John Howard could have only been greater had he actually been running against President Bush himself; in which case, even the Lord Humungus wouldn't have much of a problem convincing Australians to "just walk away".

Bush Pardons Thanksgiving Turkey: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, it's a good thing the tradition on Thanksgiving is that the President of the United States pardons a turkey instead of a "cooked goose"; because I can think of a few dirty birds that wouldn't mind swapping feathers with one dim witted animal, just so they could be exonerated by another ;)

I must admit that at first when I heard the White House was holding a contest to name its "National Thanksgiving Turkey", I figured that either "Scooter Libby" was too obvious a choice, or that the convicted White House aide was in the market for a new nickname.

Well, whatever the case may be, another Thanksgiving in the States means one less for the Bush Administration; which is something that I'm pretty sure most Americans (and the rest of the world) can be "thankful" for.

McClellan Faults Bush In CIA Leak: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

Thinking back to Scott McClellan's awkward tenure as White House Press Secretary, it makes sense that the often nervous and uncomfortable relation he had with the media was not due to the questions being asked... but rather the answers he was giving.

McClellan's admission that he "unknowingly" mislead the public with "false information" about the Valerie Plame scandal, appears to incriminate members of the Oval office directly of their involvement in the leaking of the covert CIA agent's identity; something which if true, would sink the Bush Administration... if all their hot air didn't constantly keep them afloat.

Despite this surprising (yet somewhat obvious) revelation, the publisher of McClellan's memoir insists that the former press secretary does not believe that President Bush "lied" to him about the role of the White House in the Plame affair; however, since the book is about misinforming the public, I guess we'll have to wait until his NEXT tell-all to know for sure if he is telling us the truth.

Scientific Breakthrough In Stem Cell Research: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-21T00:00:00.001-05:00

Man, give scientists small enough tweezers, and they can accomplish just about anything.

The average human sheds about 10 billion flakes of skin a day, which means that if advances in stem cell research continue in the direction it seems to be headed, pretty soon all those discarded cells of DNA you're body is dropping could be swept up and used to manufacture everything from spare heart valves to taints... And people thought file sharing was a problem ;)

In the meantime, the discovery of an alternative method of collecting stem cells, which bypasses the controversial use (and destruction) of human embryos, may quiet the political debate surrounding the research; but the corruption of an ordinary skin cell with a foreign nucleus for the purpose of reprogramming its behavior still raises a few questions... such as "is it right to meddle with nature?", "what are the risks of orchestrating these man-made mutations?" and "how soon can we find out?"

Chavez, Ahmadinejad Urge OPEC Abandon Dollar: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

In case you didn't already know, the rapid decline in America's dollar has caused the price of oil to skyrocket, causing key members of OPEC to openly consider abandoning the currency, in favor of something less "worthless"

Now I'm no economist by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems to me that while America's economic woes have depreciated the value of its dollar and caused the price of oil to skyrocket, when compared to the exchange rate of other nations, the actual "value" of the resource has not. Meaning that while it takes more American greenbacks for the world to buy its oil, the only one who really seems to suffer from that is the United States (and its weakening economy).

...Which makes me wonder, why adversaries like Venezuela and Iran would be so eager to see this change.

Musharraf Rejects US Call to End Emergency: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-19T00:00:00.001-05:00

I wonder how much Pervez Musharraf savors the opportunity to ignore the demands of the United States; and in turn, get back at the same government that once allegedly threatened to bomb his country back to the stone age, if he didn't do exactly as they wanted.

The way I see it, if spreading democracy across the Middle East was as easy as the Bush Administration led their country to believe, then there wouldn't have been such a need for them to start tweaking the definition of "democracy" at home, so that it more closely aligns with the situation in places like Iraq and Pakistan... which I guess in a way DOES make it as easy as they claim.

It also means that if all else fails and President Bush is unable to guide Pakistan towards democracy through free and fair elections, he could simply steer "democracy" closer to Pakistan... by having marshal law in the U.S. as well.

Barry Bonds Indicted For Perjury: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-16T00:00:00.001-05:00

To me, Barry Bonds indictment for lying to a U.S. grand jury about his "alleged" steroid use is good news. Not because I'm angry that he broke baseball's all-time home run record or that his personal warmth appears to rival that of a coiled-up black mamba; but because by alleging that Bond's took performance enhancing drugs "deliberately", the less likely it was the result of the CRUELEST clubhouse prank in major league history.

I mean, think about it... What if he honestly believed that he wasn't on the juice and that everything he accomplished in baseball was due to his natural ability, instead of the horse tranquilizers being slipped into his Gatorade every time he took the field, for the last 10 years.

At least this way we can deduce from the charges that he was a willing participant in his own genetic mutation and not an escapee from the dugout of Dr. Moreau; which is a good thing, because it's awfully difficult to feel sorry for someone who seems to be in a perpetual state of simmering roid rage.

Investigator's Blackwater Ties Scrutinized: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-15T00:00:00.001-05:00

Wow. I mean, even by the Bush Administration's standards... WOW!

Personally, I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that the U.S. State Department's Inspector General had to recuse himself from a probe into Blackwater after being TOLD that his own brother works for the embattled security firm... or that someone who doesn't even know what his own brother does for a living could become the State Department's "top investigator" in the first place.

You know, I wonder if it was really necessary for Mr. Krongard to inform the House Oversight Committee of his decision to disqualify himself from investigating Blackwater; when according to this revelation, he apparently never did to begin with.

In defense of the Inspector General, I will say that in order to conduct an investigation, one needs to rely upon their "intelligence"... which in this case is obviously in short supply.

Bhutto Calls For Musharraf's Resignation: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

Be careful what you wish for, Pakistan just might get it...

While Benazir Bhutto's call for the resignation of General Pervez Musharraf may be applauded by those wishing to see an end to the country's military dictatorship, I'm not so sure that a return to "democratic" rule (at this time) would necessarily improve matters; as growing anti-American sentiment among the population could easily give rise to a Islamist government... with nuclear weapons.

Oh sure, it's easy for Bhutto to champion democracy when she has the only name on the ballot; but all it takes is for her to remind the people of Pakistan why she left power (and the country) in the first place, for them to use that regained "democratic" right, to seek a "radical" departure from the corruption of the status quo. And with that, usher in a government that would make even Pervez Musharraf return from exile to overthrow.

Italian Police Shooting Sparks Riots: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

While Italian authorities insist that the shooting of an unarmed soccer fan during a scuffle between rival club supporters was "accidental", the use of live ammunition to disperse the crowd apparently wasn't.

Now, I'm not saying that police shouldn't take appropriate measures to ensure public safety; but the way I see it, if the situation requires the use of bullets and the risk of inciting widespread riots across the country, then what's the harm in just letting these hooligans beat the tar out of each other? (at least, to the REST of the community)

To me, the idea of getting so worked up over a sport's franchise that I would be willing to slug it out with like-minded fanatics in a gas station parking lot for the imaginary "honor" of my team, is about as noble a cause as eating too many bean burritos; then again, the Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967... which now that I think about it, may have been a good thing.

Musharraf Promises Pakistan Elections: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-12T00:00:00.001-05:00

To me, the rationale that Pakistan's state of emergency will ensure a fair general election in January makes perfect sense... provided that the "general" being elected is Pervez Musharraf.

You know, I can understand opposition leader Benazir Bhutto's frustration. Here you have a situation where a military dictator is making a mockery of the democratic process, by doing everything in his power to prevent the "fair and free" election of the only person that seems to be on the ballot. I mean, how hard can it be for the campaign's only viable candidate to lose an election against an incumbent that doesn't even believe in democracy?

I guess it's too bad for John Kerry that he's not Pakistani, because not even he could lose this election.

AT&T Whistleblower Details NSA Spying: Today's Cartoon #500

2007-11-09T00:00:00.001-05:00

Chances are that if you are reading this post, then according to a former technician for AT&T, a record of it has already been sent to a "secret room" at the telecom company, for the US government to examine and determine whether or not this poses a threat to national security.

Now, because it's too late for you to leave and pretend that coming here never happened, you might as well keep reading, since the damage has already been done. The way I see it, our paths have "officially" crossed; thereby implementing each other in whatever scheme that YOU are up to ;)

Therefore, I would like the monitors of the "secret room" of the NSA to note that if the individual currently reading this is under your suspicion, I in no way encourage, support or endorse their behavior... I can only vouch for my own :P

I would also like the record to show that this is my 500th cartoon; and I would like to thank everyone (including the NSA) for continuing to stop by and "surveil" my work. As unlikely as it may seem at the moment, perhaps one day we can all look back at these troubling times and share a laugh... at least that is what these cartoons are for :)

Sarkozy and Bush Repair Relations: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

As a pet owner, I can attest that once you've become accustomed to a certain breed of lap dog, you tend to remain as loyal to it, as it remained loyal to you. This is why I'm not surprised that President Bush has decided to ease the pain of losing Tony Blair, by replacing him with another "poodle" in French president Nicolas Sarkozy.

By working to mend relations damaged over France's opposition to the Iraq war, Sarkozy seems to have taken advantage of the world's low opinion of the United States to prove his country's loyalty, at an extremely cheap rate.

In what once would have cost a nation a troop deployment to the front lines of Iraq or Afghanistan, France has been able to garner the praise of the United States, from a simple diplomatic visit to Washington... which must make Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper wonder what it is that he's doing so wrong.

Ron Paul Nets Millions From Web: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

Not since the "Mahir" craze of 1999 has the internet been so united in its praise of a single individual.

Fortunately, in this case the person being admired is not some Turkish accordion player with bad English and worse web design skills, offering his home and bed to foreign tourists; but a virtually unknown Presidential candidate, offering his hopeful vision of the future to the United States.

Yes, the internet has definitely come a long way since the Bush Administration came into power. So much so that users are willing to shell out over $4 million in 24 hour, in an effort to help them delete the last eight years of neocon spam from their memory.

I think the fact that Ron Paul's web campaign has been able to resonate so strongly among Americans, despite the mainstream media's efforts to downplay his candidacy, just shows which of the two carries the greater message... and has the more influential "platform".

Hollywood Writers Go On Strike: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

Who needs "The Daily Show", when you've got "Beyond the Punchline"... Don't worry kids, I'll take care of you :)

That's right, I'm crossing the virtual picket line; because somebody's got to entertain the masses, while Hollywood figures out the best way to split its pennies... which was something this disgruntled blogger learned to do a long time ago ;)

Now, I'm all for unions and an honest day's pay, but it seems to me that whenever a strike forces a business to yield to the demands of its workers, management usually finds a way to get that money back into its pockets; and it almost always comes in the form of layoffs. I mean, why should "show business" be different than any other business, right?

Back in 1988, when the Writers Guild of America last went on strike, there was no internet for the public to turn to fill the void left by "Golden Girls" reruns. Today however, with our increased options and shorter attention spans, television is no longer the main medium of choice for a steadily growing portion of the population. So while studios say that it may take a few weeks before we notice the effects of the strike on our favorite (American) TV shows; for those without any, it may take a lot longer.

Musharraf Declares Pakistan Emergency: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

To give you an idea of just how spectacularly screwed up the Middle East has become, Iran has one on the more "stable" governments; and yet, they are the ones considered the biggest threat to the region.

I mean, to those already weary of the Bush administration's saber rattling towards Tehran, good luck trying to convince any of them of the danger it may pose with it's imaginary nukes; when a hop-skip and a jump across the minefields of Afghanistan, there is a country descending into chaos, with control of it's very real nuclear arsenal at stake.

It seems to me that by remaining such an "outspoken" ally of the White House and its "War on Terror", Pervez Musharraf has figured out a way to use his public support of the Bush Administration against them, by using it as a shield which enables him to defy Washington and seize further control of Pakistan, without any fear of consequences from the US.

After all, how would it look if President Bush had to suddenly turn against one of his last/best allies in the region?

Dog the Bounty Hunter Barks N-Word: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-02T00:00:00.001-04:00

All together now... "If you're saying things, running through your head, who you gonna' call?... AL SHARPTON!"

Hmm... It seems to me that those who are upset by what Dog the Bounty Hunter said in a PRIVATE phone conversation, must have been pretty eager to get offended, if they decided to listen to the recording knowing full well what the content was going to be. I mean, if someone tells you that a carton of milk is bad and you decide to drink from it anyway, what cause do you have to complain about the taste?

Now, I'm not supporting what "Dog" said on the tape, but I do believe that he has the right to say it, whether we agree with him or not. After all, he didn't break any laws... just reinforce another stereotype to accompany that mangy mullet of his.

In my opinion, the real issue here is not racism... but privacy; and whether or not because someone works in entertainment that entitles the audience to peer into their personal lives, as though it were still part of the show. I guess for "reality" TV stars that line between what's public and private domain may be a bit blurry, but I'm pretty sure it still exists.

Otherwise what's next... police busting in on Sharon Osbourne the next time she's in the shower and charging her with indecent exposure?

Robert Goulet 1933 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

While Robert Goulet may be gone, his music and Will Ferrell's characterization of him on "Saturday Night Live" will no doubt live on forever; proving that not only did he go out and do the music world a "fricken' service", but the comedy world as well, by providing it (intentionally or not) with a larger than life persona that was ripe for parody.

To an entire generation, he may have received more recognition for an animated guest spot on "The Simpsons" than his Tony and Grammy awards combined. But for an entertainer to be able find a way to remain relevant for so long, without having to resort to public nudity or racist tirades, is just a testament to Goulet's greatness as a cultural icon.

Something which I'm sure is not lost on William Shatner and the career revival that he's enjoying.

Blackwater Contractors Get Iraq Immunity: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

You know, with all the reports about Blackwater lately, I get the impression that if the United States government was as interested in protecting Iraqi citizens as they are the security contractors that shoot them, they probably wouldn't have to worry as much about doing either. I mean, how can they possibly expect to gain hearts and minds; when at the same time, they are dealing guns and ammo... and immunity from prosecution?

For its part, the Iraqi government is at least unified in its response to pass a new law, revoking the blanket legal protection granted to foreign security firms, since 2004. Unfortunately, this assertive act by parliament which would otherwise be celebrated by the Bush Administration as a sign of Iraq's fledgling independence, may instead become it's own undoing; as its decision to defy Washington and protect its citizens, may turn out to prove just how little control the Iraqi government actually has over the safety and well-being of its own people.

In which case, I say that if Iraqis can't beat Blackwater, they might as well join it... as private security "sub-contractors". Just take a page out of China's play book and offer to do the same job at a fraction of the cost and I'm fairly certain that Iraq would be able to gain its security back from the United States in no time ;)

British Royal Blackmail Scandal: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-30T00:00:00.001-04:00

I must say that despite all the scandals and controversies which surround the British Royal family, I'm not the least bit surprised that it's been over a century since someone has actually tried to blackmail Buckingham palace. I mean, what's the point of risking jail for a few thousands quid, when the same bloke can simply go to the tabloids and get a lot more for his (and the monarchy's) trouble?

Now, I'm not going to speculate as to which one it was (this time) that got caught polishing their crown jewels; as far as I'm concerned, if it weren't for creating scandals and making commoners feel morally superior, the Royal House of Windsor would have gone the way of the Hammer House of Horror a long time ago.

That's not to say that the British monarchy does not still serve a purpose, other than providing content for gossip rags, entertainment shows... and the occasional editorial cartoon :) It's just that they have a lot of free time to fill in between Garden parties.

Rumsfeld Faces Torture Charges In France: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-29T00:00:00.001-04:00

Alright, so it may not be "official" (at least not yet) but even the rumor of Donald Rumsfeld fleeing French authorities after a human rights group filed a criminal complaint against the former Defense Secretary during a visit to France, is enough to at least convince me of people's optimism... as well as their sense of humor.

Now perhaps I've seen too many "Pink Panther" movies, but since we are speculating on information provided to us by "unconfirmed sources", allow me to use mine to envision a bumbling French inspector in hot pursuit of an equally "Clouseau-esque" (yet tragically less funny) U.S. Defense Secretary; so that if the story turns out to be untrue, at least my version of it would make for an entertaining screenplay.

All kidding aside, I think what is most important to note about this rumor is that while people debate whether or not Donald Rumsfeld actually faces arrest in France on charges of war crimes stemming from the authorization of torture in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay, no one seems to be arguing that he shouldn't... which for me, makes the possibility that he might, appear all the more believable.

US Tightens Sanctions Against Iran: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-26T00:00:00.001-04:00

Now, I'm not saying that the Bush Administration is "lying" when it claims that Iran is building a nuclear weapon; but after leading its country into Iraq under suspiciously similar circumstances, trying to convince the world of yet another unsubstantiated threat that only they can see (and prevent) may be about as difficult as Dick Cheney trying to turn a "Q" into an "N".

The thing is, if the United States was serious about deterring Iran from producing a bomb, I really don't think that they would be trying to isolate it through sanctions and in effect turn it into the North Korea of the Middle East, where the threat of nuclear annihilation becomes its sole bargaining lever.

The way I see it, if Iran wasn't interested in manufacturing nuclear weapons before the United States decided to tighten its sanctions against them, this economic white glove across the face may be the motivation they need... and the justification that Bush Administration is looking for.

Condoleezza Caught Red Handed by Protester: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder if the protester that waved her blood-colored hands in the face of Condoleezza Rice before her testimony at a Congressional hearing did so because she couldn't get into a taping of "Real Time with Bill Maher" instead.

It seems to me that recently the U.S. anti-war movement has decided to really step up its efforts to get its message heard by the mainstream media... whether they want to listen to it, or not. By disrupting live news programs and press events, it appears that anti-war protesters are able to sneak up and catch these corporate media outlets at their most vulnerable and take that opportunity to fire an unfiltered shot across the bow of the American war propaganda machine.

Now usually these "breaches" only last for a few short moments before security drags off the intruder and the program (or should I say "programming") resumes as normal. But thanks to the internet and sites like Youtube, what was only seen and heard briefly can now be shared and repeated countless times, to the point where the incident overshadows the event itself.

To me this strategy of protesters using the inherent weakness of the corporate media to help promote their agenda would be effective, provided that people were interested in what political figures like Condoleezza Rice have to say in the first place... which for the most part, they are not. Instead it seems that Americans are far more interested in celebrities than they are in politics; and for their part, the corporate "news" excels at feeding this demand.

So, with all the coverage the media provides, it would seem logical that there are plenty more opportunities for the anti-war movement to get their message out by following Britney Spears on a trip to McDonald's than there is waiting in the lobby for members of the Bush Administration to appear before Congress. After all, it's not like everyone is as interested in watching C-SPAN as they are.

Harry Potter Author Outs Gay Character: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-24T00:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, I'm not "buying" J.K. Rowling's attempt to sell more books by revealing that characters from her popular "Harry Potter" series are suddenly gay. The way I see it, if "Dumbledore" the wizard was actually a homosexual, it would have been revealed in the story, since the character does not exist in any other capacity. In other words, if it doesn't happen on the page, it doesn't happen at all (unless of course, it happens in the movie).

To me, the idea of an author assigning traits to a character after their work is finished, makes me wonder why they even bother writing in the first place, when apparently it's much easier for them to just explain everything to you. I mean, throughout seven books, it is not like Rowling didn't have ample opportunity to reveal her character's sexuality to the reader... that is, if it mattered at all to the plot and she had actually decided he was gay while writing the series.

Now, I'm not saying that a whole lot of effort needed to be made to make the sexual orientation of Dumbledore more apparent in the book; in fact, I'm pretty sure that a scene with the wizard using his magic to score "Coldplay" tickets would have done the "trick" ;)

Schwarzenegger Battles California Wildfires: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

With all the earthquakes, mudslides and wildfires that California endures on a routine basis, it seems to me that Arnold Schwarzenegger has experienced more "action" as Governor than he did as a movie star throughout the entire 1980's... However, unlike "Red Sonja", these disasters are much more difficult for people to walk out on.

Perhaps I STILL have a hard time accepting him in an actual leadership role; but honestly, how bizarre a scenario is it when you've got the President of the United States phoning up "The Terminator" to offer his assistance in dealing with a real emergency, in which hundreds of thousands of lives are in danger... I mean, wasn't this the same President who stayed on vacation during Hurricane Katrina?

Bill Maher Heckled by 9/11 Truthers: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, I think Bill Maher may have been too hasty to have vocal members of the 9/11 "truth" movement removed from the audience during a live airing of his political debate program; in fact, if interest in this incident is any indication of the sort of ratings that he could be receiving, he may wish to have these people back on his show... if for no other reason than so he can throw them out again.

As far as 9/11 theories go, I tend to believe that if people can look past all the lies and deceptions perpetrated by the Bush Administration in the years since the attacks and are still able to accept their explanation for the event without the slightest hesitation, then there is really no point to try to challenge them on those views, since apparently they don't have any. And like a young child being shaken from a deep sleep, all you'll get for your effort is a tantrum of obscenity in return.

Bomb Attack Ruins Bhutto Homecoming: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-19T00:00:00.001-04:00

Despite the concerns of authorities and knowing herself that she was a target of terrorists, former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto decided to go ahead with her slow moving procession through the crowded streets of Karachi; and thus set the stage for the worst bomb attack in Pakistan's history.

Upon her return from exile, Bhutto expressed confidence in her belief that she would not be harmed, because attacks against women were forbidden by Islam. Unfortunately that "guaranteed" security did not extend to the crowds of supporters outside of the armored bus she was riding in.

Now obviously those who carried out this heinous attack are the ones directly responsible taking the lives of over 125 people; but by shrugging off security concerns leading up to the bombing, Benazir Bhutto certainly did her part to ensure the high body count... which leads me to wonder which is her bigger concern, the votes or the voters?

Turkey Approves Actions Against Iraq: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

When President Bush says that the possibility of Turkey invading Iraq in response to "terrorism" would not be in their interest, I believe him; after all, he's speaking from over four years of experience. It's just too bad that no one was around to tell him the same thing... oh wait, there was.

Now, I'm not condoning the invasion of Iraq, but if the Bush Administration felt justified to do it out of fear of an "imaginary" threat, then what right do they have to say that other countries can't do it; especially in response to ACTUAL attacks?

While the "Pottery Barn rule" that former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell famously assigned to America's occupation of Iraq may have been "you break, it you own it", in the years since it "broke" this has seemingly become less of a consequence and more of an incentive for other countries to march into the store as well.

Dalai Lama Visits White House: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder which was the more difficult decision for the United States to make; denoucing the Armenian genocide and offending Turkey, or honouring the Dalai Lama and upsetting China... Then again, I guess it doesn't matter, since the *easiest* choice was to go ahead and do both.

The way I see it, if the Bush Administration was already hurting its relationship with China by hosting the Dalai Lama in the first place, then they might as well have gone all the way and allowed President Bush to ride him on the White House lawn, as he originally intended. I mean, if the Queen of England's visit last spring is any indication of what the "God-king" of Tibet can expect from an encounter with the "Man-child" of Washington, then perhaps China was a little too quick to condemn the meeting.

Putin Dismisses Alleged Plot Threat: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

You know, if we're to believe that Vladimir Putin is not concerned about an alleged assassination plot during his trip to Iran because he doesn't listen to special services, then I can certainly understand why it is that they don't want him to ever leave home.

Then again, it must be tough for the Russian president to take any threat seriously when apparently his own security detail is far more concerned (or lazy) about going outside than he is.

While Putin has been able to craft an image of himself as a strong, determined leader, I'm not so sure that the same can be said about Russian security; whom Putin has seemingly dismissed as a bunch of "nervous nellies" and brushed off, along with the latest threat against him.

Now, I understand that you can't live your life in fear; but then, these alleged plotters are not exactly trying to "scare" Vladimir Putin. So let's hope that if he doesn't take the threat seriously, he will still at least decide to wear a vest... bulletproof or otherwise.

Al Gore Wins Nobel Peace Prize: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

So much for thinking that Jimmy Carter would be the last American to win the Nobel Peace Prize; though in my defense, I will say that it must have been a difficult choice for the committee to make, as an award that is traditionally given to individuals in recognition of peace negotiations and human rights was instead awarded to an environmental activist.

Now, I not trying to downplay Al Gore's hard work and accomplishments, but the way I see it, if all it takes to win a Nobel Prize is to make documentaries that "raise awareness" of important issues, then why hasn't Michael Moore won the award already?... Probably because the foundation isn't trying to encourage him to run for President in 2008 ;)

It's strange to think that an award as prestigious as the Nobel Peace Prize would be given to someone in advance of their deeds (or even to encourage them in the first place). I mean, if we're to believe that Gore is deserving such distinction through a documentary and rock concert, then imagine the far greater impact he could make as "leader of the free world". In which case, this year's prize could be interpreted less as a "reward" and more as an "investment" on Al Gore's (future) legacy, as President of the United States.

Turkey Recalls U.S. Ambassador: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

You know, it seems like every time the U.S. tries to do something noble, they somehow manage to make things a lot worse for themselves.

By passing a Congressional bill that officially recognizes the Armenian genocide (92 years after the fact), the United States has waited until the worst possible time for it to finally express an opinion on the matter... and in doing so, may end up losing a key ally in it's "war on terror".

I mean, in all those years in which America could have said something and risk offending Turkey, they instead have decided to do it at a time when they actually can't (with it threatening to cut off its cooperation and support of U.S. operations in Iraq).

Now I don't mean to appear insensitive, but after 92 years why is America suddenly interested in recognizing the Armenian genocide, at the risk of losing its strategic alliance with Turkey? ...After all, it's not like history is going anywhere.

Carter Says US Tortures Detainees: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

While term limits may prevent U.S. presidents from serving more than eight years in office, the way I see it, since Jimmy Carter only served four, he should still be eligible for re-election, 30 years later. Then again, I get the impression that he probably prefers the freedom that comes outside of Washington, of being able to speak the truth of his country and not have to worry about the "political" fallout from it.

It seems to me that if the United States is ever going to repair its tattered image abroad, Jimmy Carter is just about the only American figure who is still respected enough around the world to do it... the only problem is that the Bush Administration is keeping him hard at work criticizing it, instead.

You see, despite what pundits may think of his presidency, Jimmy Carter has since gone on to build an impressive portfolio of public service outside the narrow realm of US politics (which has even earned him the distinction of possibly being the last American to ever win a Nobel Peace Prize). Now as a humanitarian, his efforts already made George W. Bush pale in comparison; but as a respected critic of his administration, Jimmy Carter makes President Bush appear even worse than he does on his own (if that's even possible).

This is problematic in the sense that while Carter can definitely help to improve America's foreign image, his outspokenness against the current government can also contribute substantially towards its steady deterioration... making it that much more difficult for this 83 year-old to fix, if he ever gets the chance.

Iraq Demands Compensation From Blackwater: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-10T00:00:00.001-04:00

Despite the insurgents and sectarian militias, it would appear that the greatest threat to Iraq's fledgling "democracy" is actually the private security firms, which seemingly operate with impunity and undermine the authority and credibility of the Iraq's "freely-elected" government.

After ordering the expulsion of "Blackwater" from Iraq following a recent civilian shooting incident in Baghdad, not only was the demand of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki not taken seriously by the company, it also failed as a warning to other security firms to reevaluate their rules of "engagement", as civilian shootings continue to occur.

While some may question the legitimacy of the Iraqi government, the fact of the matter is that in order to at least create the "impression" of a functioning democracy, a "sovereign" state should be permitted to exercise its right to self-determination, even if the outcome is akin to a puppet having an abdominoperineal resection.

Britian To Halve Iraq Force: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-09T00:00:00.001-04:00

The way I see it, Britain's decision to reduce its commitment in Iraq from 5000 to 2500 troops by next spring sends a clear message to the Bush Administration that its "policy" must be working.

You see, the longer the United States must fight in the region, the more debt it will need to incur in order to secure its claim to third largest oil reserve in the world, which also means that the less the U.S. can afford to share this immense wealth with the rest of its coalition. So, what better way to avoid splitting the spoils among their allies than by getting them to split, period.

While the Bush Administration may have wanted a multinational force to help shoulder the burden of removing Saddam Hussein, now that he's gone, what they want is to figure out a way to remove this coalition from Iraq as well... which they seem to have succeeded at brilliantly, by allowing the entire nation to fall into chaos; thus forcing their allies out of the country and away from its natural resources.

Now if only the White House could have schemed its way to the oil itself, it would've *almost* been worth the effort... at least financially.

Marion Jones Admits Steroid Use: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

When Marion Jones said that she had asked God for forgiveness after she admitted to lying about taking performance enhancing drugs before the 2000 Olympics, I wonder if this was the same "God" who had apparently provided her with the steroids -- I mean the "God-given abilities" which she claimed to have.

I mean really, how much sympathy can she expect to get from a God whom she thought didn't exist enough to care about being used as a false front for her "sinful" behavior?

Then again, if God was indeed responsible for Marion Jones' steroid use, then perhaps by praying for forgiveness what she is actually doing is apologizing for getting busted in the hope that he won't do anything to her, out of fear that she will accept a plea deal and testify against him ;)

Diana Inquiry Unsure Of Pregnancy: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

The way I see it, if Mohamed al Fayed can help convince the High Court of London to set up yet another inquiry into the tragic 1997 car crash which took the life of his son and Princess Diana, based on "conspiracy theories", then perhaps he could also work his magic in pressuring an American court to hold a public inquiry into the events of 9/11. I mean, who knows?... Maybe Prince Philip was behind that as well.

To me, the belief that the British Royal family orchestrated the accident which claimed the life of Princess Diana because she was having a Muslim baby is the basis for this investigation, so the fact that no one can prove or discredit the claim that Lady Di was actually pregnant kind of makes this latest attempt at resolution a bit of a wasted exercise, since it will do nothing to address this conspiracy theory.

You see, in this day and age when suspicion of authority has become the new favorite pastime, anything other than "indisputable evidence" only serves to validate the notion of a cover-up; in which case, the fact that there is no indisputable evidence IS the indisputable evidence.

North Korea To Dismantle Nuclear Program: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-04T00:00:00.001-04:00

With North Korea's pledge to disclose and dismantle its nuclear program coinciding with South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun's diplomatic visit to Pyongyang, it would appear that the regime of Kim Jong-il has been able to use the international spotlight on Iran to help improve its own standing in the world.

Much like after 9/11, when pressure was being put on Afghanistan and Iraq, Libya saw this as a chance for it to shed its own distinction as a "state sponsor of terrorism" by formally renouncing its WMD program at a time when doing so would benefit them the most in return. So, it seems to me that North Korea may be exhibiting the same sense of opportunity as Libya, by formally renouncing it's own WMD program ahead of a confrontation with another country over theirs.

You know, I wonder if any of these "rogue states" actually do develop these weapons with the intentions of using them against the United States... I mean, other than as a negotiating lever.

Blackwater Defends Reputation Before Congress: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-03T00:00:00.001-04:00

Didn't the Rolling Stones teach us anything about the dangers of hiring "private contractors" for security operations, back in 1969?

The way I see it, if it's illegal for civilians to impersonate police officers then it should also be prohibited for them to pretend to be soldiers; especially in Iraq, where their questionable conduct is frequently being mistaken for that of U.S. troops, whose reputation is tarnished enough, due to the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal.

It seems fairly obvious to me that US officials would not have to outsource responsibility in order to avoid accountability in Iraq, if they just didn't do it to begin with. By bringing in private contractors with virtually no oversight, the Bush Administration has created from the onset the conditions for the inevitable fallout, which we are just now beginning to read about. I mean why else would a government need to rely on a company like Blackwater to buffer itself from the consequences of their actions, if it weren't for those actions creating the need to distance themselves from it?

Britney Spears Loses Custody of Children: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-02T00:00:00.001-04:00

My guess is that if America's mainstream media were to focus as much attention on the well-being of the "kids" serving in Iraq and Afghanistan as they do the health and safety of Britney Spears' children, the Bush administration would have lost "custody" a long time ago.

You know, it never seems to fail that at a time when the U.S. needs to pay attention to serious matters, their press allow themselves (yet again) to become distracted by the tabloid wing of their "news" department and the latest gossip surrounding the former marginally-talented pop singer and bad actress, Britney Spears. I mean, with all of this coverage being devoted to her during TWO controversial wars, I am beginning to wonder if whether this troubled celebrity needs help... or a commendation from the White House.

If anything, the reporting on Britney Spear's custody battle at least proves that the American mainstream media is still "capable" of investigative journalism... even if it apparently has no idea what it should be investigating.

UN Envoy Sent To Myanmar: Today's Cartoon

2007-10-01T00:00:00.001-04:00

Say what you will about permanent members of the security council undermining the authority and the integrity of the United Nations, but when countries like Myanmar are permitted to conduct atrocities against their own people, without any sort of concern towards the international community, you really have to wonder how much "authority" it actually has in the first place.

I mean, it wasn't like world leaders didn't know what was going to happen, since practically the same thing occurred in 1988. And even then, nothing was done because of it. Just as nothing was done when Saddam gassed the Kurds (Hmm... 1988 was a bad year for the UN).

You know, it just doesn't make any sense to me why certain states seem all too willing to enforce "democracy" upon nation's that don't even want it, yet stand by and watch passively as the people that actually do get their teeth kicked in because of it.

Phil Spector Judge Declares Mistrial: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-28T00:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the highly publicized O.J. Simpson case in the 1990's, celebrity trials have become a mainstay of the American mainstream media, with attention and resources frequently being diverted from other events in order to saturated their 24 hour "news" cycles with coverage of these judicial spectacles.

Yet with so many celebrities getting into legal trouble nowadays, even some celebrity trials are starting to get preempted, in favor of the more asinine of these media distractions. Such was the case with Phil Specter, whose trial for the shooting of Lana Clarkson barely registered a "blip" on the radar (or at least an hour on Larry King) next to the legal woes of such troubled stars as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and especially the "franchise" player himself, O.J. Simpson.

At first when I heard that the Spector trial had ended in a mistrial, my immediate thought was that the case was canceled due to poor ratings, rather than fact that the jury couldn't reach a verdict. However, despite the apparent lack of round-the-clock media attention, the judge is still demanding a re-trial and is determined to bring this case back as a mid-season replacement... in between Michael Jackson trials ;)

The way I see it, a second Spector trial is great news for the "news", which may have been too distracted by the Anna Nicole "baby-daddy" saga to properly obsess over this case the first time around; and with that, give it the kind of media attention it doesn't deserve... but is entitled to anyway ;)

Myanmar Protests Turn Violent: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

By opening fire on pro-democracy demonstrations led by thousands of Buddhist monks, not only does it appear that Myanmar's military rulers have no respect for human rights and freedom of expression, but apparently they don't believe in "karma" much either.

In what has become an unavoidable clash between the nation's two most influential authorities, the fact that public support overwhelmingly favors the monk's passive protest of the nations oppressive dictatorship just goes to show that the world does not need violent military interventions and occupations to spread the good word of democracy... just a few thousand Buddhist monks.

Perhaps the Bush administration should have consider this before shoving its forces into Iraq and Afghanistan (and now probably Iran). Hmm... I wonder if it's too late to get a bunch of these monks to go into Baghdad.

The Release of Halo 3: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder, if the anticipation surrounding the release of “Halo 3” is any indication of young people’s passion for these first-person shooting games, would the line ups outside army recruitment offices be any similar to those at retail stores if the US military were somehow able to construct body armor that made their soldiers look EXACTLY like the character from the video game… but didn’t get soggy every time it got wet.

Ahmadinejad Visits Columbia University: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-25T00:00:00.001-04:00

You know, I can understand Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's reluctance to answer some of the questions he fielded during a speaking engagement at Columbia University; I mean, why should he be made to account for his country's actions, when other nations apparently don't have to, right? But the way I see it, if you're going to "dance" your way around a question, you'd better have some slick moves; otherwise you'll end up looking as awkward as Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards.

Such was the case with Ahmadinejad's effort to dismiss accusations that his country executes homosexuals, by claiming that Iran doesn't have any gay people... to execute.

Now obviously it's pretty absurd to believe that in a nation of over 70 million people, not a single Iranian has ever initiated a homosexual encounter in the third stall of an airport's men's room, even by "acciden t"... Then again, I guess you would need TWO gay Iranians for that.

Marcel Marceau 1923-2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-24T00:00:00.001-04:00

In some of the media tributes to Marcel Marceau, it was mentioned that the world-famous mime was a huge "inspiration" to pop-star Michael Jackson. Now, I have to admit that at first I was a little taken aback by this disturbing revelation... until I finally realized that they were actually talking about the "moonwalk" :)

Much as it seems to be the case with Luciano Pavarotti, the passing of Marcel Marceau is more than just the loss of a great performer, it is the loss of a symbol for an entire medium. Like Pavarotti, Marceau's talent was not just his ability to perform, but to showcase a classical art form in such a manner that was both accessible and influential to an entirely new generation.

For his part, Marceau was credited for helping to inspire "breakdancing" in the 1980's, which went on to evolve into a key component of today's hip hop culture... Not bad work for a pasty-white frenchman.

You know, I always wondered why I found so many hip hop artists annoying, but now it makes perfect sense... they're all descendants of street mimes! ;)

Canadian Loonie Equals US Dollar: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-21T00:00:00.001-04:00

To me, the fact that the "loonie" has hit parity with the US Dollar for the first time since 1976 is not an indication of a strong Canadian economy, but is rather the outcome of America relying on "God" as its financial adviser.

Oh sure, he may have created the Earth in seven day's, but it's been the banks that have controlled it ever since. I mean, there is nothing wrong with Americans putting their faith in the Almighty, just understand that that was never the real reason why so many of them were able to get a sub-prime adjustable rate mortgage, despite having bad credit and poor financial prospects.

So while Canada rejoices in its false "cents" of accomplishment, I think it's important to note that regardless of one home's worth, too many foreclosures on the block will inevitably bring down the property value of the entire neighborhood.

US Blocks Ahmadinejad's WTC Visit: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-20T00:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, I think that if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not allowed to visit the World Trade Center site, then no other politician should be permitted to exploit the location for a photo-op either.

Then again, if the United States is so worried about the threat of terrorism from Iran, then perhaps allowing President Ahmadinejad to lay a wreath at "ground zero" during his upcoming visit to New York would be a good idea, on the off-chance that he mistakenly leads officials to the site of an attack that his government may be planning... Now, how embarrassing would that be? ;)

The way I see it, preventing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad from visiting the World Trade Center was a smart decision, since the last thing America needs to be doing right now is linking yet another Middle East country to events of 9/11.

Student Tasered During John Kerry Event: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-19T00:00:00.001-04:00

You know, I wonder if these incidents of American university students being attacked and tasered by campus police may have anything to do with the possibility that some of these "officers" are resentful over the fact that they were never quite bright (or rich) enough to actually attend one of these schools, prompting them to use their security certificate from community college to seek revenge on these universities, by venting their frustrations on the "student body".

...Either that, or zapping rich kids with 50000 volts must be a real charge!

In my opinion, the incident at Florida University in which a student was tasered and arrested following his "lively" attempt to get John Kerry to answer a series of personal questions, was appalling; not just in its intent to silence free speech and prevent important questions from being asked... but for making it a crime for a 21 year-old student to act out on a university campus. I mean, isn't that sort of what they're for?

Look, if it weren't for the seclusion of these educational institutions, these impressionable young minds would be carrying on in the public sphere; and in turn, influencing even more impressionable minds. ...Such as those that rely on FOX news.

Iraq Orders Blackwater Expulsion: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

The way I see it, if the removal of private security firms like Blackwater USA from Iraq were as easy as the Iraqi government ordering them to get out, then they most likely would have done it already, since this isn't the first civilian shooting incident that this company has been involved in. And yet somehow I get the suspicion that by finally doing so, it will be Maliki government that is actually forced to leave.

You see, since the beginning of the war, tens of thousands of private security contractors have operated under a veil of secrecy in Iraq, as part of the Bush Administration's "shadow army". Little is known publicly about the activities of these companies since all aspects of their operations are shrouded in mystery and shielded from oversight. Yet despite the covert nature of these firms, what is known is that unlike conventional forces, a private army is not defeated militarily, but rather by getting their operating license revoked.

Now, if an all-out military assault on Fallujah is any indication of the kind of reaction that the White House has towards an attack against Blackwater employees, imagine their response towards a strike against the company itself. My guess is that these private U.S. security firms won't be going anywhere, without a fight.

OJ Simpson Arrested In Armed Robbery: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Anyone familiar with the whole OJ Simpson saga should already know by now that the fallen sports icons only commits crimes "hypothetically", even when there is overwhelming physical evidence to the contrary.

The way I see it, Simpson's arrest in Las Vegas in connection to a sports memorabilia armed-robbery is just the latest "chapter" in the fictional misadventures of the former athlete turned speculative autobiographer; whose apparent research into his own "imaginary" crimes has apparently misled authorities into believing that he had actually committed an offense. I mean, what better way is there to figure out what you'd do if you did it, than by doing it in the first place?

I guess by getting arrested OJ Simpson has presented himself with the opportunity for yet another hypothetically tell-all, with up to 35 years to devote to writing it.

Bush Addresses Iraq Recommendations: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-14T00:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, I think that any political gains that may have been made from General Petraeus' "optimistic" assessment of Bush's Iraq strategy were almost immediately lost by the President himself, when he decided to appear on television and in a prime time address, publicly punt responsibility for his tragically ill-conceived war ahead, for future administrations to fumble with it.

Seriously, how much further can the Bush Administration's expectations for Iraq continue to decline, before they finally come to the startling realization that they are actually doing way more harm than good? I mean, when they are aspiring to achieve a situation comparable to North Korea and it's 50 year stand-off with the U.S. and consider THAT to be their best case scenario, it really makes me wonder who could possibly benefit from it... Iraq, the United States... or perhaps current occupants of the White House?

Putin Dissolves Russian Government: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-13T00:00:00.002-04:00

It appears that Vladimir Putin is so serious about encouraging Russia to boost its birth rate that he used its national "Conception Day" as an opportunity to basically tell his government to "f*ck off". Though I guess it makes a lot of sense that their designated sex holiday takes place on a Wednesday; but who knew that Russia only has one "Hump Day" a year... when everyone else gets one every week.

Talk about sending your nation mixed signals... While on the one hand Putin is pleading with his country to produce more children; on the other, he is busy building and testing the most devastating non-nuclear weapons in the world; which could easily get even the coldest Russian "hot and bothered"... just not necessarily for baby-making.

In this age of heightened global awareness, it's nice to see that Russian officials are carefully considering the environmental impact of their weapons of mass destruction, by stressing the point that their new vacuum bombs pack the wallop of a standard nuclear weapon, without the threat of all that dangerous radiation contaminating the already charred and inhospitable landscape. I guess that way, when all those Russian babies inherit what's left of the Earth, they won't have to worry about any mutant ants and cockroaches starting yet another "arms" race.

9/11, Osama Bin Laden and Britney Spears: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-12T00:00:00.001-04:00

So, how is it that Osama Bin Laden can live in a cave, apparently on kidney dialysis for the last six years and still turn up looking better than Britney Spears did, at the Video Music Awards?

To commemorate the sixth anniversary of 9/11, Bin Laden released yet another audio message; this time, to encourage followers to join his "caravan of martyrs"... which if you ask me, sounds like the WORST carpool in history! I mean, good luck trying to get a ride back home at the end of the day.

Who would have thought that six years after the worst terrorist attack in United States history, not only would Osama Bin Laden still be releasing audio recordings, but so too would washed-up (yet surprisingly dirty) former pop princess Britney Spears; who by the looks of it could also benefit from a few years out of the spotlight... in a cave somewhere along the Afghan/Pakistan border.

General Petraeus Delivers Iraq Report: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

If General Petraeus' report represents the White House's view of Iraq (or vice versa), then if nothing else, they have certainly done an excellent job at convincing themselves that they are doing an excellent job.

I mean, basically this report is no different than the countless other "war assessments" that are based on shaky statistics, which are nothing more than interpretations based on interpretations favorable to their own. So in the end what you have is not necessarily an accurate view of the situation, but rather a "dramatization" based entirely on how you would like to see it.

Thus, the more that "favorable statistics" are used to paint a picture of Iraq, the blurrier that image becomes... which depending on how optimistic you are in Bush's war policy, can at least provide some with a wonderful escape from a grim reality.

Bin Laden Branded "Virtually Impotent": Today's Cartoon

2007-09-10T00:00:00.001-04:00

For those who question the timing and legitimacy of the latest Osama Bin Laden video, statements from the White House calling the Al Qaeda leader "virtually impotent" doesn't really come as much of a surprise; since according to most of them, he hasn't been able to get it up since he passed away from kidney failure, about six years ago.

While the debate as to whether Bin Laden is alive or being digitally resurrected for the purposes of propaganda is an issue that will most likely never be resolved; the fate of his beard already has... it "dyed".

The release of Bin Laden's latest video shows the terrorist looking much younger and healthier than he did three years ago when he encouraged Americans to re-elect President Bush, by warning them not to. And while the Al Qaeda leaders "hope" for a Democrat in the White House may have been dashed, it would appear that the years since 2004 have obviously been kind to the "mastermind" of 9/11, who must be sleeping a lot easier at night knowing that the Bush Administration isn't at all interested in finding him.

Luciano Pavarotti 1935-2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

Well, I guess the chances of a Three Tenors reunion are pretty much non-existent at this point... unless of course you believe in the afterlife, in which case you'd better start saying your prayers and saving your money now, if you hope to score tickets for that event.

The loss of Luciano Pavarotti to pancreatic cancer robs the opera world of its most recognizable "figure", as the man who helped bring the classical genre into the mainstream. Yet aside from being tremendously talented, he was also celebrated for his physical appearance; which for many, embodied their expectations of what a classical opera singer should look like... perhaps explaining why he weighed close to 300 pounds.

Indeed, the passing of Pavarotti is a big deal, not only because there isn't anyone to replace his talent, but also fill the huge void on stage left behind by this "larger than life" performer.

Jerry Lewis Apologizes For Gay Slur: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-06T00:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, I think the biggest offense that Jerry Lewis committed during this year's Labor Day Telethon was not dropping an anti-gay slur during a comedy bit, but aborting the act as soon as he said it. I mean, if you know you've already crossed the line, then you might as well make a run for it and hope that you can reach a "punchline" before they yank you off the stage. At least that way there is a "joke" to consider, before the public can tear into you instead.

What I find most shocking about this, is that a word so powerful it's capable of wiping out nearly 50 years of charitable contribution and billions raised for medical research is actually considered "anti-gay", when it sounds anything but. Oh sure, the term carries historical baggage that was once interpreted as being negative towards homosexuals, but if the reaction (and swift resolution) to this incident is any sort of indication of the real "threat" that this remark poses the gay community... then those days appear to be long gone.

Not only did Jerry Lewis' single utterance of the three-letter "f-bomb" completely overshadow an entire 21 hour variety telethon and the 64 million dollars it raised for charity, but it immediately shifted the focus of the event from Muscular Dystrophy to Gay Rights, through groups pressuring Lewis to issue an apology, affirming that he holds no prejudices against homosexuals. Now that to me doesn't seem like a particularly "anti-gay" word. In fact, with these kinds of results, I'm surprised the Gay community doesn't encourage more celebrities to use it.

Adventurer Steve Fossett Goes Missing: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-05T00:00:00.001-04:00

Who needs to push their limits by living the life of an "adventurer", when apparently a routine flight over the Nevada desert can provide even more risk than a record-setting balloon ride around the world.

While the condition of millionaire Steve Fossett is not yet known, his situation brings to mind a somewhat similar circumstance when famed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin passed away; not as the result of some vicious animal mauling (as many would have predicted), but an uncharacteristic lapse of judgment, in a seemingly nonthreatening environment.

Perhaps it's due to all the mental preparation thrill-seekers undertake in anticipation of extreme danger that these "adventurers" tend to lower their guards a little further than they should, during the more mundane moments of their lives, which quite often prove to be their unceremonious undoing.

Bush Makes Surprise Iraq Visit: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-04T00:00:00.001-04:00

You know, if by "current successes" President Bush means sneaking into Iraq and delivering a speech inside a remote airbase in Anbar province, then that's good enough for me as well... especially if it serves to create a context (in his mind) that will enable him to start thinking about troop withdrawal, without making him feel like a loser.

To me, it only makes sense that if the justifications for going to war were never really valid to begin with, then neither do the reasons have to be for getting back out. The way I see it, since President Bush is the one creating the "objective" in Iraq, only he can envision what "success" should look like... or at least when to apply the term to the actual situation on the ground and call it a V-Day.

Tony Snow Resigns: Today's Cartoon

2007-09-03T00:00:00.001-04:00

I think what I'll admire most about Tony Snow's tenure as White House press secretary was that while a recurrence of colon cancer could not force him to resign, being spokesman for the Bush Administration for a measly six-figure government salary could... Now that definitely says a lot about Neocons.

But really, who can blame him? I mean public opinion is one thing, but when even your own body has turned against you, then I believe some added "danger pay" should most certainly be in order.

So apparently, working for Bush Administration is not nearly as "rewarding" as one might think. In fact, Tony Snow made significantly more money defending the White House at FOX News than he did as its official Press Secretary; which begs the obvious question... who's really controlling who?

Senator Larry Craig Sex Scandal: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-31T00:00:00.001-04:00

It might be hard to believe, but by the way things appear in Washington these day, it may not be President Bush who "screws" his party out of power in 2008, but the Republicans that literally do it to themselves.

Accused of trying to solicit sex from an undercover police officer in an airport men's room, Senator Larry Craig is just the latest in what seems to be a disturbing trend of Republican lawmakers doing what they do best, bringing attention to "family values" issues in the United States... by being exposed as total hypocrites.

The way I see it, in a country that is so limited by it's political options, it is no wonder that Washington has become a mess with partisan bickering. Just look at the sort of ongoing nonsense that these politicians are forced to contend with... and you'll understand their constant need to protect it, by diverting attention back onto the opposition before they can Foley... I mean "fully" take advantage of it.

Moqtada al-Sadr Announces Iraq Ceasefire: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-30T00:00:00.002-04:00

It appears that some "overly enthusiastic" members of Moqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army are giving the militia a bad reputation, even by Iraqi standards. So bad in fact that the radical cleric has decided to take radical measures, by grounding his entire organization; meaning no TV, no telephone and no targeting American soldiers for an entire six months.

During the ceasefire, al-Sadr has expressed plans to restructure his army, by removing its "bad members" before resuming hostilities against coalition forces, just in time for Valentines Day. Yet if you ask me, it would seem that the U.S. will be the ones doing most of the housecleaning for him, as anyone who breaks the ceasefire will undoubtedly be considered a "rogue" militant by Sadr loyalists and target practice by the Americans.

You know, if such a arrangement can work so effectively in war, isn't it a shame that it doesn't carry over into peace?

Owen Wilson Hospitalized: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-29T00:00:00.001-04:00

Regardless of the individual or the situation, the decision by someone to take their own life (for whatever reason) is an extremely serious matter that obviously needs be addressed with the utmost care and consideration... that is unless the attempt fails; in which case, you hope for a speedy recovery, at least until they are well enough to be given the riot act, for the anguish they have caused the people around them.

Now, despite what some people may think, there is absolutely no justification in my mind for anyone, especially a Hollywood star, to jump the line and cut in front of the terminally ill and ridiculously old who are mere moments away from paradise. The way I see it, these poor souls have waited a lifetime to earned their spot and the last thing they need is some dopey celebrity, distraught over his spectacular love life, shoving them aside while trying to bribe the doorman with slit wrists and a belly full of sleeping pills.

It's R.I.P. not V.I.P. Now wait your turn, like the rest of us puny mortals ;)

Alberto Gonzales Resigns: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-28T00:00:00.001-04:00

The resignation of yet another high-ranking White House official amid controversy appears to give new meaning to the term "doing the RIGHT thing", as embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is just the latest Bush loyalist to step down under pressure from critics and into the pages of history, as an integral part of perhaps the worst administration in United States history.

For his part, Gonzales' involvement in the politically motivated firing of eight federal prosecutors will more than likely overshadow the fact the nation's first Latino Attorney General... but one the bright side, it may also eclipse many of his controversial policies, like the ones permitting torture against detainees and warrantless wiretapping against American citizens.

Greek Wildfires Spark National Emergency: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-27T00:00:00.001-04:00

Much to my surprise Greece's worst forest fires in living memory was not the result of climate change or an angry Hephaestus, but the work of arsonists. I mean, who knew that the Greeks were such pyromaniacs? Then again this IS the country that gave us the Olympic torch relay.

You know, it's situations like this when people are caught in the path of nature's fury that I begin to question the need to worry so much about global warming... when apparently our neighbors seem far more likely to do us in, before the planet gets around to it.

The way I see, despite the complex challenges we encounter as an "advanced" civilization, the greatest problem we face today is the same one that has plagued us throughout the ages and that is nothing threatens to our way of life more, than fire in the hands of Neanderthals. Now, wouldn't you love to see Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio do a documentary about that?

Bush Compares Iraq Withdrawal to Vietnam: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-24T00:00:00.001-04:00

The way I see it, President Bush's assessment that an Iraq withdrawal would result in the same loss of life that followed America's departure from Vietnam only proves how destabilizing U.S. intervention has been in that country and in no way does it justify prolonging it... especially since history has already told us what the outcome is going to be.

While it may be true that countless thousands were maimed and executed following the Vietnam war, there was really nothing that the United States could have done to prevent it. Even if they had stayed in the region, they were too bogged down in Vietnam to intervene in Laos and Cambodia; and even if they could, troop morale and public support were at such a low point that the result would have been an even greater disaster (and larger loss of life).

Wow... I guess when President Bush was told that he didn't have to serve in Vietnam, someone must have said that he didn't have to pay attention either.

Alleged Police Provocateurs at Montebello Summit: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-23T00:24:00.001-04:00

Judging by the video taken by demonstrators at the recent "Three Amigos" summit in Montebello Quebec, either the three suspected "agent provocateurs" were indeed undercover police officers or they were the lamest Anarchists that I have ever seen. I mean, did you see how quickly they surrendered to riot cops after scurrying behind the police barrier, to avoid protesters removing their bandannas? You know, for rock-wielding goons set on having a confrontation with authorities, they sure didn't put up much of a fight.

Of course, the RCMP and the Quebec Provincial Police have both flatly denied the use of uncover agents at the summit; which should seem fairly obvious, since admitting to such allegations would sort of negate the need for being so sneaky in the first place. Yet even in denial, the police do not appear to rule out the possibility that the three individuals were indeed provocateurs... just that they didn't originate from their department.

But, as anyone who has ever seen an episode of "The Sopranos" can probably tell you, whenever a dirty deed is needed to be done, it is always best to hire someone outside of the crew to do it. That way if anything goes wrong, it can't be linked back to the family... even if the whole thing was caught on video and posted on Youtube ;)

*Update* BUSTED! The police now admit that they were indeed undercover cops... this is going to be interesting.

CIA Criticizes George Tenet Over 9/11: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

Hmm... I wonder why the CIA deemed it necessary in the first place to classify a report that basically states the obvious, that former agency chief George Tenet had no clue how to predict or prevent the 9/11 attacks. I mean, not only does that seem fairly apparent after the fact, but it was pretty much a foregone conclusion when it happened, six years ago.

While the findings of this report will no doubt infuriate many people, there is at least some comfort to be found in the belief that George Tenet was SO incredibly incompetent (according to the CIA) that anyone who even cared even slightly about terrorism could have prevented the attacks from taking place; which means that the chances of another 9/11 occurring should be practically non-existent at this point... Right?

Leona Helmsley 1920 -2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-21T00:00:00.001-04:00

Eccentric billionaire hotelier Leona Helmsley was dubbed the "Queen of Mean" for her reputation of being unrealistically demanding, with a proneness to firing employees on the spot. She was also a convicted tax-cheat who was once quoted as saying that only the "little people" paid taxes. In other words... she was a cultural icon who came to symbolize much of the greed and excess that seemingly defined the 1980's.

If articles written on Helmsley's excessive temper are accurate, then the fact that she succumbed to "heart failure" should really come as no surprise to anyone; except perhaps those who believed that she never had one to begin with. Yet, for all the negative reporting about the life of Leona Helmsley, something positive that can be said about the 87 year-old heiress is that unlike her younger counterparts, at least she was coherent enough to have a demanding attitude... and kind enough not to leave the public with any sex tapes to remember her by.

Hurricane Dean Threatens Gulf Oil Industry: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-20T00:00:00.001-04:00

Hurricane Katrina not only revealed the vulnerabilities of the levees in New Orleans, but it also open many people's eyes to just how easily susceptible the oil industry in the Gulf of Mexico is, to acts of god... and greedy business owners.

2005 was considered the most active hurricane seasons on record; yet for the major oil companies, the huge winds quickly translated into giant windfalls, in the form in the form of record profits (along with accusations of price gouging).

Fast forwards two years later and the advance of Hurricane Dean towards the Gulf region at near category 5 capacity once again has the energy sector nervously tracking the storm's activity, in anticipation of another "record-breaking" Atlantic Hurricane season.

Jose Padilla Convicted of Terrorism Support: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-17T00:00:00.001-04:00

The conviction of "enemy combatant" Jose Padilla is a clear victory for President Bush, who ordered him detained as a enemy combatant, on suspicion of plotting a "dirty bomb" attack in the United States in 2002.

For three and a half years, Padilla was held in isolation, without charge; until finally, the U.S. government was pressured into prosecuting him in a federal court... for lesser crimes. Yet fortunately, the Bush Administration was able to obtain a conviction on those weaker charges, and thus were able to justify their initial detainment of Padilla, for the far more serious (and possibly made-up) offense.

Because President Bush has the executive authority to designate and detain any American citizen as an "enemy combatan t" and hold them without charge, he could (theoretically, of course) use this power to create the appearance that he is defending the homeland against domestic super-villains, when all he is really trying to do is bolster his image at the publics expense.

It really wouldn't be all that difficult for him to do... First detain a "suspect" on suspicion of something really awful and then figure out what the real charges are after that; that way, even if its takes years and the conviction is for something far less serious, the fact they are guilty of ANYTHING clearly justifies their incarceration in the first place, and makes the President and his "anti-terrorism" policies appear more effective and trust-worthy than they actually are.

Well, good thing this administration is not the habit of deceiving the American public; or else this might actually be something to think about ;)

U.S. To Name Iran's Guard Terrorists: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

Betcha' the White House is kicking itself for not doing the same thing to Saddam's Republican Guard, before they invaded Iraq.

Learning from it's mistakes, it appears that the United States government may have figured out a better way to use its "Global War on Terror" to justify the invasion of other nations... by designating that country's official army as a "terrorist organization".

Iran's continued defiance towards the Bush Administration has earned it's Revolutionary Guard a spot on America's list of recognized terrorist groups. And while claims of Tehran's desire for nuclear weapons and its involvement in Iraq's violence are disputed, one thing that is certain is that Iran frustrates the heck out of Neo-cons hawks, who are determined to find a reason to go to war with them... which ironically, may be the only justification they actually need.

The way I see it, if "frustration" is viewed as a "terrorist" tactic, then EVERY cute girl I meet at a club or in a pub must be working for Al Qaeda.

Mattel Orders Mass Chinese Toy Recall: Today's Cartoon

2007-08-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

With the announcement of yet another huge toy recall by Mattel over health and safety concerns of it's Chinese-made products, it is starting to appear as though China is fast becoming the real-world equivalent to the ACME Corporation... minus the Earthquake pills and the Do-It-Yourself Rocket-Sled Kit.

As more focus and scrutiny is being placed upon imported Chinese-made items, it seems that more tainted products are being discovered; which is good to know, if it weren't for the facts that China pretty much manufactures EVERYTHING we buy nowadays. So, I guess in the end consumers do end up paying a higher price for all that cheap labor, after all.

Well, say what you might about standard and quality of Chinese-made imports, but if they didn't cut a few corners to meet demands, then how else could Santa be ready in time for Christmas?