Monday, July 16, 2007

Conrad Black Convicted of Fraud: Today's Cartoon

Fallen media baron Conrad Black was convicted of four out of the thirteen charges he faced for fleecing company shareholders out of more than $60 million in profit, which was used to finance his own lavish lifestyle; one which (pending appeal) could be reduced to a single membership in an exclusive twelve-by-twelve foot "gentleman's club", whose only other member is some dude with the name "Hogwarts".

Right now, perhaps the only thing that Conrad Black regrets almost as much as being found guilty is probably his decision to renounce his Canadian citizenship in order to accept a British peerage. But it appears that since his legal woes began, Lord Black has suddenly rediscovered his Canadian pride (or a least that of it's legal system) and is desperate to reclaim his Canuck status.

Now, as a Canadian I feel that it's appropriate that if we should accept Conrad Black back into the fold, WE should have a say as to the conditions of his return. Obviously, we don't want a convicted felon loose on our streets; while at the same time, it shouldn't be our responsibility to incarcerate criminals for other countries. So, what I propose is that instead of housing him in a Canadian prison, we should arrange some sort of exchange with the U.S. that would allow Conrad Black to carry out his sentence... while on display at the Toronto Zoo.

The way I see it, it shouldn't be up to Canada to punish Conrad Black; but that doesn't mean that we can't "preserve" him; and let children learn all about the "Greedius Maximus" species, while feeding him money in his poshed-out enclosure... Think of it as "community service" ;)

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