Monday, April 30, 2007

Huge Turkish Secularism Rally: Today's Cartoon

It seems to me that the separation between church and state would be a lot easier if society were able to install some sort of deterrent between them; say like a cold shower.

To me, the relationship between religion and politics is a lot like that between brother and sister. While both may respect and care for each other, the absolute last thing they should have on their minds in hopping into bed together; which is why so many people find it upsetting (and downright creepy) when it actually happens. The end results of this unholy union can be truly horrific and usually ends up looking something like the Taliban or worse... George W. Bush ;)

The way I see it, keeping politics out of the churches and religion out of the legislature, keeps people from losing their faith in both... unless of course they're non-voting atheists; in which case, the separation between church and state isn't necessary because government doesn't even exist ;)

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Friday, April 27, 2007

U.S. Congress Approves Iraq Pullout Plan : Today's Cartoon

Well, it looks like President Bush will get the opportunity to remind the American people that the Iraq war is mainly his war, by vetoing a funding bill aimed at bringing US involvement in this disastrous conflict to a merciful end.

Oh sure, it's easy to gamble, especially when you're betting with someone else's chips; but at the end of the day, you still has to know what you're doing. Otherwise, you lose all the same. To me it seems that the Bush Administration doesn't really care how it bets with what it's given, so long as there is plenty of it left on the table to get them through the next few hands. After that, their gambling woes become some other poor chump's problem to solve; as Bush and company quickly slip out the back door.

The way I see it, the Congress should not let itself fall into the trap of being accused of abandoning the troops, by giving President Bush a blank cheque to continue raising the stakes in Iraq. Instead, they should be organizing some sort of intervention at the White House to let the President know that despite his efforts to remain clean and sober, they will no longer enable a gambling addict to continue placing bad bets on the same lame horse.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Rosie O'Donnell To Leave "The View": Today's Cartoon

So, now that Rosie O'Donnell has announced her departure from "The View", I can't help but wonder who Barbara Walters and company are going to bring in to replace her. Well, obviously it would have to be someone with a similar take on current events; whose opinions and outspokenness was guaranteed to generate controversy and ratings for the morning gab-fest.

Now, if the decision was up to me I would probably go with someone like Roseanne Barr or perhaps Russell Crowe, in drag. But if those options weren’t available, then I would most likely just hire one of Donald Trump's ex-wives, just to keep his feud with the show going, while I put out a saucer of milk and waited patiently for Rosie's actual replacement to show up ;)

Say what you will about her "politics", but Rosie O'Donnell was a huge success for "The View". People tuned in, just to see what kind of trouble she was getting herself (and the show) into, or if it would be the day that she finally snapped and took out the skinny blond across the table. Basically, she made the show worth getting up before noon to watch ;) And though it's uncertain what direction the program will take after Rosie's departure, we'll always have Jerry Springer to help fill the void that she left behind.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Scientists Discover Earth-Like Planet : Today's Cartoon

To me, the proof that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is evident in it's reluctance to be found. I mean, with all the noise we've been making lately, I'm pretty sure that someone out there has to have taken notice of our little planet by now; and if so, is it any wonder that they want nothing to do with us? After all, we don't rush over to greet every bee hive we encounter ;)

You know, I sometimes wonder if humans are viewed the same way within the universe, as "predators" are on social networking sites, like Myspace. Perhaps the reason why we are having such a hard time making any new "friends" is because extraterrestrials are “blocking” us, after checking out our profile.

In my opinion, the discovery of an "Earth-like" planet is less an indication of intelligent life existing outside our solar system, as it is the possible existence of another "social outcast" within our universe... which if it is anything like Earth, we may be better off just avoiding it as well ;)

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Boris Yeltsin 1931 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

As far as historical figures go, I think Boris Yeltsin will be remembered more fondly than many Russians would have thought, when he left office in 1999; thanks in no small part to the government of his successor, Vladimir Putin.

Looking back, it would appear that most of Yeltsin's accomplishments as Russian President were largely symbolic; starting with the breaking up of the Soviet Union and continuing with the dismantling of Russia's communist economy. While serving as an agent of change for his country, making such traumatic reforms actually work in Russia, were left for others to figure out, after Yeltsin stepped down.

The way I see it, despite rolling-back many democratic reforms, if it weren't for the Putin government stabilizing much of the chaos created by its predecessor, the legacy of Boris Yeltsin could easily have been that of a failed-statesman, who helped orchestrate the collapse of his country... twice.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Alec Baldwin Berates Daughter In Leaked Voicemail: Today's Cartoon

Alec Baldwin's daughter must feel so fortunate to have a father that loves her so much that he literally loses his mind, whenever she misses a phone call. I mean, think of all the millions of neglected and orphaned children in the world, who would absolutely love to receive a profanity-laced voice mail from someone who actually cared that much about them... especially if that "someone" was a big-time Hollywood celebrity ;)

While none of this is really any of our business; that doesn't seem to stop the press from thinking that the public somehow should have a say, as to whether Mr. Baldwin gets to keep his daughter... or if she should be adopted by Madonna, as a way of keeping her out of Malawi.

Either way, I don't believe that private matters like this should involve the general public. Unless of course, celebrity custody battles are going to be fought exclusively in the court of public opinion from now on; in which case, I demand a "juror's fee" every time the "news" media decides to waste time, asking us for our verdict.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Alberto Gonzales Testifies Before Senate Panel: Today's Cartoon

During his appearance before a Senate oversight committee, US attorney General Alberto Gonzales claimed 71 times to not recall the events leading up to the removal of eight federal prosecutors for alleged political reasons. Yet despite not remembering anything, he assured the panel that he did nothing wrong... but how can he be so sure?

It says that during blackouts "individuals can engage in a wide range of goal-directed, voluntary, often complicated behaviors -- from driving cars to having sexual intercourse." Now, this could explain the Attorney General's memory loss; however, this condition is attributed to excessive alcohol consumption (not "political kool-aid") and mentions nothing about firing federal attorneys for partisan gains, while intoxicated.

I think the problem with U.S. Senators asking for the Attorney General to resign is that his memory issues may be so bad that he won't remember doing that either.
Hmm... Perhaps instead of relying on those "missing" emails to account for his whereabouts, Alberto Gonzales may want to consider tattooing his day-planner onto his body from now on... just like that dude from "Memento" ;)

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Iraq Bombings Claims Nearly 200: Today's Cartoon

As Bush’s troop surge continues to falter, I believe that the only way the U.S. will ever disengage from Iraq now is if politicians back in Washington can think up some sort of Vietnam-like “peace with honor” strategy; enabling them to withdraw their support of the war, without letting their political opponents hold it against them.

It seems to me that more than anything, “pride” is the main motivation for loyalists to continue supporting for this failed venture. For them, the longer they are forced to cling to their initial approval of the war in Iraq, the more that decision becomes a “life-line” to their entire political careers; to the point where they themselves have the most to lose by admitting “defeat”. Politicians know that as soon as they let go of their support for the war, opponents will seize upon this to bury them during the next election.

So, what I propose is for those who oppose the war in Iraq to offer supporters an “armistice”, by granting them the opportunity to change their opinion without it being used as ammunition against them later on. That way, politicians in Washington can achieve “peace with honor”, while figuring out a way to do the same for that other quagmire, overseas.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Prince William Splits With Kate Middleton: Today's Cartoon

It seems to me that if news of Prince William's break up with girlfriend Kate Middleton caught "royal-watchers" by surprise, then obviously they are not nearly as obsessed with the monarchy as their title suggests. Granted, the social life of Britain's future king has been about as eventful as the Millennium Dome, but that is still no excuse for these people letting their guards down, like this.

You know, it actually seems sort of cruel for Prince William to suddenly dump his girlfriend, after being with her for six years. I mean, to instantly go from being groomed to become Britain's next Queen to fending off the advances of "commoners" at the local pub, is a lot like releasing a show pony into the wild, or worse... London's single scene ;)

Yet, as bad as I feel for Miss Middleton for having her standards raised to such unbelievable proportions, I can't help but root for the underdog at the end of the bar, who after his fifth or sixth pint, actually starts to think that he's got a shot at her; which he might... if that bloke happens to be Prince Harry :)

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech Shooting: Today's Cartoon

I don't know about you, but with the way the American mainstream media seems to operate nowadays, I'm not so sure that extensive coverage of the Virginia Tech shooting rampage by the same people who brought us the Anna Nicole Smith saga, is a very wise decision.

You see, my concern is that because of its increasing shift in priorities, major "news" organizations seem to be having a difficult time deciphering between "information" and "entertainment", as they appear to spend more time going after ratings than chasing down leads. It is for this reason that I believe that school shootings should not be reported on by major news organizations, out of concern that their coverage may in effect create copycat scenarios; especially when the news is being sensationalized, in order to attract the greatest number of viewer or readers.

To be honest, I really don't see a need for the press to dwell upon this tragedy any longer than absolutely necessary. The media has a responsibility to the public to keep it informed of important current events, not to exploit the news in order to achieve a temporary spike in the ratings. The way I see it, by treating school shootings in the same manner that it treats celebrity custody battles (within a celebrity-obsessed culture), the American "infotainment" industry is literally playing with a loaded weapon and needs to exhibit extreme caution when dealing with such a serious issue.

*Update* Sadly, it appears that my initial concerns about the media's coverage have proven to be quite valid.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Paul Wolfowitz World Bank Nepotism Scandal: Today's Cartoon

Critics of Paul Wolfowitz claim that by helping to secure a high-paying promotion for his girlfriend, he has in effect tarnished the reputation of the World Bank. However, if you consider the criticism that the group already receives, charges of "nepotism" do not taint the image of the organization, they merely reflect it.

You see, one of the main arguments leveled against the World Bank is that it only comes to the aid of impoverished nations that are willing to adapt to a free market economy. To my understanding these reform policies are the banks way of ensuring that regardless of the result, it will always be able to collect upon its debt. So, in a way, this "prerequisite" aimed at transforming third world countries into Western-style economies could itself be viewed as a sort of "global nepotism".

Thus, as was the case with Paul Wolfowitz's girlfriend, it seems that the World Bank only gives preference to those who are willing to put out first ;)

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Friday, April 13, 2007

Bomber Infiltrates Iraq Green Zone: Today's Cartoon

I think the bomb attack inside Baghdad's heavily fortified "Green Zone" definitely calls into question the logic and effectiveness of the Bush Administration's recent “surge” of U.S. troops into Iraq. I mean, how can they possibly expect to bring peace and stability to an entire country, when after four years, they can’t even secure it inside the parliament’s own cafeteria?

At this point in the war, it seems like the only signs of progress are coming from the insurgency; this despite White House efforts to keep their oil-fueled fantasy of a “democratic” Iraq alive, by feeding it more soldiers and extending their tours from 12 to 15 months.

But if you ask me, it would seem far more appropriate that instead of sending war-weary troops on yet another tour of duty, the White House recruited all the “die-hard” supporters of President Bush’s Iraq policy to go in their place. The way I see it, while there may not be that many of them left, the ones who remain are so devoted to the commander-in-chief that not even a road-side bomb could dent their faith in him. So, while the casualty numbers may stay the same, the optimism of these new recruits towards the President’s war strategy would at least make for a much happier marine “corpse”.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Daddy Revealed: Today's Cartoon

Wouldn't it be nice if the American media could apply even just half the amount of energy that they wasted covering the Anna Nicole Smith saga, towards investigating something like 9/11 or the use of private security forces in Iraq? Oh sure, some of you may think that there is nothing more to know about these stories; but seriously, when has that ever prevented the cable news companies from going overboard with its round-the-clock “continuous coverage”?

The way I see it, if the press is willing to devote so much of its time and resources towards covering stories like this, then at the very least they could spare just a few moments of airtime to refute all of those "ridiculous" 9/11 conspiracy theories, which continue to gain popularity among the general public; mainly because they continue to go unopposed by both the government and the mainstream media.

While the world is grateful that a single baby has been united with her biological father, the press played absolutely no role in this; and sadly all the hard work that went into bombarding us with this tabloid each day will almost certainly be forgotten. Now, compare that to the kind of "investigative journalism" that not only means something, but can actually shape the outcome of the story; and whose efforts would ultimately be remembered for generations to come.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Don Imus Suspended Over Controversial Remarks: Today's Cartoon

The way I see it, firing Don Imus for his disparaging comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team would be a huge disservice to the American public; not because I agree with what he said, but because his dismissal wouldn't actually address the problem, it would merely censor it.

When it comes to social issues and controversy, society has a wonderful way of self-regulating, to determine whether something said is acceptable or not. But in order for that to happen, "controversy" must be allowed to occur. You see, I would much rather people were given free reign to say horrible things, than have their voices silenced and their attitudes remaining a secret; especially if those people are public figures. Basically, I would like the chance to be able to draw my own conclusions, rather than have activists and pressure groups make it for me, ahead of time.

To be honest, I really don't see the need to punish people like Don Imus, when all anyone has to do is gauge the public's reaction to their comments to understand that what they say is not acceptable. I think that at the end of the day, people should be asking themselves whose made to look worse... the Rutgers women's basketball team for comments made by Don Imus, or Imus himself for making them?

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Shiites Call For US To Leave Iraq: Today's Cartoon

Something tells me that John McCain's assertion that the streets of Baghdad were safe enough for him to walk doesn't necessarily extend all the way down to Najaf, where tens of thousands of Shiites marked the fourth anniversary of the fall of Saddam Hussein by burning American flags and demanding the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.

Despite the appearance of an unappreciative mob, the anti-American rally is just another example of how the Bush Administration's generous gift of "freedom" has been embraced by the Iraqi people... or so the White House would want us to believe. To me, saying that Saddam Hussein would never have allowed for such a gathering to take place, sounds a bit naive; especially when you consider that this was a rally calling for the removal of the United States from Iraq.

Somehow I get the impression that if Saddam were still in power, not only would he have no problem with Shiites protesting the presence of American forces in Iraq, but he probably would have rushed out and join them... or at least send one of his body doubles to attend ;)

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Superman Costume Sold at Auction: Today's Cartoon

The only way I can rationalize someone paying $115 000 for a costume, is if they're actually going to wear it... a lot. Personally, I don't really see the "value" of old collectibles; especially when they are bought with absolutely no intention of ever being used. I mean, if somebody is willing to pay that much for something, they should use it; if not for their own personal enjoyment, then to at least earn their money back.

The way I see it, there are plenty of uses for an old Superman costume than just hanging it on a wall, or in a closet. For example, it could easily be utilized by the American government and corporate media for its propaganda purposes, or whenever they need a convenient distraction from the harsh realities of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. So instead of risking the life of Senator McCain by having him take a "stroll" through Baghdad to persuade the American people that the troop surge is working, the White House could simply hire one of Blackwater's "security contractors" to dress up as Superman and do it instead.

After all, while the credibility of politicians in Washington may always be in doubt, no God fearing, flag waving, FOX news watching American would ever dare question the integrity and patriotism of the "Man of Steel" ;)

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Friday, April 06, 2007

Nancy Pelosi Visits Syria: Today's Cartoon

Nancy Pelosi's unauthorized trip to Syria has been interpreted by many as a snub to the Bush Administration's foreign policy. In fact, the mere attempt to establish any sort of dialogue between Washington and Damascus completely undermines years of carefully considered diplomatic neglect, perpetrated by the White House, as part of its strategy to ignore the problem in the hopes that it will eventually go away on its own. So, now that Pelosi has expressed an interest by the United States in rebuilding relations with Syria, President Bush will have to try and locate it on a map all over again, which probably explains his harsh criticism over the whole affair ;)

To me, a "foreign policy" not only refers to international affairs, but to "different ideas" as well. The problem I see with U.S. foreign policy is that under the Bush Administration it has floundered within its own stagnancy and is in desperate need of a "foreign" policy of its own, to hopefully get it moving again. Basically, the United States has drawn too many lines in the sand, which instead of isolating its adversaries, has resulted in itself being boxed into a position where it is left with very few options to work with.

The way I see it, even though House Speaker Nancy Pelosi does not speak for nor represent the White House, her efforts do succeed in reminding the world that the current U.S. administration does not necessarily speak on behalf of the American people and that President Bush's time in office is (slowly) coming to an end... leaving a huge mess for everyone else to try and clean up.

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Iran Releases Detained British Sailors: Today's Cartoon

It looks like alls well that ends well, unless of course you following the mainstream media, where their "post-game" coverage seems to be focused more on who "won" and who "lost" the prisoner standoff between Britain and Iran.

While personally, I don't see either side at a disadvantage when it comes to a diplomatic resolution and prevention of hostilities; I think it would be interesting to know just what exactly constitutes a "victory" or "defeat" in the eyes of the American press... I mean, other than the safe release of British soldiers and Iran not being attacked ;)

From a "propaganda" standpoint, I guess you could give Iran the advantage when it comes to using the situation as an opportunity to repair some of the damage inflicted upon its image, through the competing rhetoric of countries like the United States; who for years have been dehumanizing the Iranian people through its politics and entertainment, to the point that they have seemingly been reduced to little more than a vague caricature of "evil" (any wrestling fans remember "The Iron Sheik"?).

To me, the irony is that for some people, the humane treatment and safe return of the British sailors completely goes against their understanding of Iran, forged mainly through anti-Iranian propaganda; to the point that it gets treated with suspicion and dismissed as "propaganda" itself.

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Keith Richards Admits Snorting Father's Ashes: Today's Cartoon

You know, some times thinking up these daily web-cartoons can be as easy as simply quoting the headline; and thanks to Keith Richards, today is one of those days :)

I think what amazes me most about this story is the fact that it's not something that occurred a long time ago; but rather in 2002, when Richards was 59 years old! I mean, I've heard of rock stars having these wild and crazy lifestyles, but perhaps it's time someone actually had this guy committed... instead of taking him out on tour.

To be honest, snorting cremated remains sounds more like something Keith Richards would want to have happen to him, if and when he finally "burns out". The only difference would be that with all the drugs he's taken over the years, it would probably be more like trying to snort uranium.

Well, at least Keith's dad is now in a better place, where he feels no pain, no sickness and is at eternal peace... No wait, that's Keith ;)

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Iran Rules Out Trial For British Sailors: Today's Cartoon

Hmm... I wonder if the real reason Iranian officials are not pursuing a trial for the 15 detained British Sailors is because their televised "confessions" would be inadmissible, even by Iran's judicial standards.

The softening in tone between Britain and Iran is an encouraging sign to those involved in the crisis; except perhaps for the Bush Administration, who even though is not directly a part of the incident, has been accused of trying to escalate the situation, to further its cause for going to war with the oil rich nation. To them, a trial would probably be viewed as the best recruitment campaign possible for their next "coalition of the willing".

The way I see it, if an official apology is all Tehran truly wants, then I think the British parliament might as well just swallow its pride, give them one and be done with it. I mean, if it can actually help to bring an end to this crisis, then when you consider all lies and deceptions perpetrated by world leaders on a daily basis... what are a few more between colleagues?

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Monday, April 02, 2007

Israel Offers Regional Peace Conference: Today's Cartoon

It seems to me that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's offer to host a regional conference with Arab leaders to discuss the details of their land-for-peace initiative would be a clever way for Israel to get what it ultimately desires, which is official "recognition". I mean, how can someone actually travel to a place that to them doesn't even exist?

Through this proposal, it would appear that Olmert is in a sense trying to re-interpret the state of Israel within the minds of the Arab people, by replacing their long-held image of an illegitimate occupier and replacing it with that of a Jewish "Neverland", which can only exist if they believe in it. And the best way to get them to do that, is by offering them incentives, such as a forum for discussing an independent state for the all those Palestinian "Lost Boys".

Once that's been accomplished, getting Arab leaders to attend a regional peace summit in Israel should be as easy as "second star (of David) on the right and straight on 'til morning" ;)

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