Friday, August 04, 2006

Today's Cartoon: Hillary Clinton Calls for Donald Rumsfeld's Resignation

Say what you will about Donald Rumsfeld; but one thing that can't be denied is that the man is a "wizard" when it comes to handling his critics. The fact that he is STILL the Secretary of Defense despite ALL that has gone wrong (and continues to go wrong) in Iraq and Afghanistan is a glorious testimony to his talent of being greatest "escape artist" since Harry Houdini ;)

Although some of you may consider his "act" to be nothing more than a crude display of "fibs and fables", I consider his performance as the U.S. Defense Secretary to be more "magical" than "Dungeons & Dragons" on acid. Look, Jesus may have been able to turn water into wine, but could he "polish a turd"? Donald Rumsfeld can :)

Every magician has their trade secrets and Rumsfeld is no different. The key to his "act" is his ability to utterly confound the audience through a well thought out routine that involves taking specific questions that he does not want to answer and transforming them (magically) into a series of broad rhetorical questions directed towards himself. This way he is able to appear as though he is addressing their question, when he is in fact responding to questions that nobody over the age of 12 would even bother asking him.

For example, when Hillary Clinton asked the question "Given your track record, why should we believe your assurances now?" Rumsfeld responded by breaking down her original question into smaller, less threatening questions that were easier for him to work with; such as "Are there setbacks?" to which his answer was "yes"... Ta-da!

Another "trick", is the one where he avoids criticism over a previous statement which he has made, by going back in time and changing its context. For example, when Hillary Clinton tried to call him on the claim he made in 2002 that "the Taliban are gone" and then reflected that statement upon the increasing violence in Afghanistan; Rumsfeld was able to "escape" the shackles of his own quote by implying that what he REALLY meant was that the Taliban had been "replaced" by a democratically elected government, thus loosening his bonds... Ta-da!

You see, in order to become a really successful magician (like Donald Rumsfeld) you must first learn to believe in yourself... even when everyone else around you keeps telling you that you are full of sh*t ;)

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