Thursday, June 15, 2006

Today's Cartoon: FEMA Loses $1.4 Billion in Katrina Aid to Bogus Claims

You may not know this, but the use of federal "relief funds" to pay for a "gender re-assignment sugery" was actually the original concept for the 70's TV show, "The Six Million Dollar Man"; until Lindsay Wagner was replaced with Lee Majors, and she became "The Bionic Woman" instead :)

The media has been throwing around terms like "bogus", "stolen" and "fraudulent" to describe FEMA's distribution of over one billion dollars worth of Hurricane Katrina aid to supposed "victims" of the storm. I believe that these labels are inaccurate. The use of these funds to purchase alcohol, erotic videos and gender re-assignment surgeries indicates to me that these individuals had more than just their "survival" in mind, but the survival of the entire species as well. You may call them "thieves", but I call them "heroes" ;)

Let's face it; in times of tragedy, beggars can't be choosers. When disaster hits and it's up to you to help re-populate the planet, chances are there's not going to be any Swedish Bikini models around to help you out (unless you're in Sweden); and even if there were, they're definitely not going to look like they do in the magazines, considering the circumstances.

People have given FEMA a lot of grief for being ill-prepared to handle the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina; and while in some cases (food, shelter and re-construction) that arguement could be made, when it comes to the "preservation" of the human race, they've got it covered.

FEMA may not be a "dating service", but this doesn't mean that they don't recognize the problems that exist in a "relationships" between two complete strangers, forced together through catastrophe. When the future of humanity so desperately relies upon a small ragtag group of survivors "getting it on", it appears that FEMA has spared no expense giving these "patriots" all the assistance they need.

That being said, it must have really sucked to be the one who pulled the short straw and got the "sex-change" instead ;)

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