Friday, March 10, 2006

Today's Cartoon: The United States Renews and Extends "Patriot Act"

I can totally understand why George W. Bush was SO eager to renew the "Patriot Act". Why, if I were the President of the United States, I'd want the "Patriot Act" too; to defend "freedom", perserve "liberty" and maybe earn a couple of extra bucks on the side.

I think the first thing I'd do with the "Patriot Act" is use it to figure out just what the Hell is going on, on "Lost". Who's the guy in the "armory"? Is he one of the "Others"? Do the writers REALLY have it all figured out, or are they just making it up as they're going along?

Next, I would use the "Patriot Act" to wiretap those "1-900" phone sex numbers. And then sell the tapes to the highest bidder ;)

Of course, I would also use the "Patriot Act" to combat "Terrorism". I'd use wire taps to find out which Americans vote on "American Idol", but don't vote in their own presidential elections; and immediately have them sent to Guantanamo Bay.

And then... just before the upcoming congressional elections; I would use the "Patriot Act" to put pornography on the hard drives of EVERY Democrat's computer, and then call the cops.

Remember folks, "absolute power" only "corrupts", when you haven't taken the time to make everything "absolutely" legal first ;)

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