Friday, December 30, 2005

Today's Cartoon: Gang Violence in Toronto

There is something extremely unsettling about witnessing tragedy on the evening news and then being offered an opportunity to re-enact it during the commercials breaks.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The Baghdad Prison Break

"Propaganda" is probably THE most powerful "weapon" used in warfare. It can be used in so many different ways to acheive SO many different responses. For example, it can be used to motivate the troops, to raise morale, to spread fear and confusion among the enemy, to encourage support from the homefront or to cleverly distract the world when things get slightly out of hand.

Even if you consider the war in Iraq a mistake and/or a failure, you have to be impressed by the successful "Propaganda War" that has been waged basically since the 9/11 attacks. What's most impressive is that in the United States, it's not even called "propaganda". That word has such a negative connotation attached to it that the "powers-that-be" have wisely opted for the more "professional" sounding "Strategic Influence" and "Perception Management" (these terms also look MUCH better on a resume).

Well, if "propaganda" is a dirty word, then my favourite form is (appropriately) those late night phone sex commercials with the hot babes in bikinis, who claim to be waiting up all night for you to call them... but that's different cartoon altogether :)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Today's Cartoon: Kerry Packer: 1937-2005

Now here was a guy who was so successful at life that even Heaven has got to be a bit of a let down for him.

BUT, for a guy who was worth over $6 billion and known for being one of the world's greatest gamblers and tax cheats, cheating Death was probably something he was actually looking forward to :)

I imagine somewhere in Australia, there is an army of lawyers with "Ouija Boards", waiting for instructions.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Today's Cartoon: "The War on Christmas"

Unlike other wars, "The War on Christmas" is an ongoing media quagmire that fortunately only lasts up until Christmas Day; and then it quietly gets put away until next year, when it will be played out all over again.

Like the survivors of other great wars, the veterans of "The War on Christmas" will forever be haunted by their memories. The pain of hearing "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" will remain will all of us; however, it is our obligation to share these stories with the younger generations so that they will know and come to appreciate that which we fought SO hard for.

So, until next year's campaign, "Merry Christmas to all... and to all a good FIGHT!" :)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The Cloning Research Scandal

This story REALLY impressed me. The fact that this guy could deliberately fabricate his own research and then pass it off as being the cutting edge in stem cell research is truly AMAZING!

Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there... if you are going to lie, lie BIG; and when I say "BIG", I mean so unbelievably immense that it just blows right past the realm of "absurd" and "ridiculous" and circles the Earth about 20 times before finally ending right where it began... back in the realm of "plausible". Now that's "BIG"! " :)

Also, if you are going to lie, make sure it's "BIG" but also make sure it's about something that NOBODY knows anything about. This will cut down the chances of any legitimate "experts" calling your bluff and exposing you for the fraud you are.

Always remember kids... "Lying" is not about "Truth", it's about "Belief". Therefore, the more people who believe you, the less of a “liar” you really are! ;)

Friday, December 23, 2005

Today's Cartoon: Steven Spielberg's "Munich"

Basically, the whole arguement for and against the movie is that the people who killed the Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics are no different than the agents who were sent to kill them; thus forming a never ending circle of violence (or in movie terms, a never ending string of sequels).

Personally, I wish the "good guys" would just go back to wearing white cowboy hats, while the bad guys would wear black cowboy hats and be identified by their shifty eyes and sinister laugh. I think this would make it a lot easier for moviegoers to know who to root for. Not only would this have cleared up all the controversy surrounding "Munich", it would have DEFINITELY fixed all the problems in the Middle East to begin with :)

Now, All we have to do is figure out who the good guys are.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Today's Cartoon: Intelligent Design

Where was "Intelligent Design" when I was in high school? It would have made biology class a Hell of a lot easier.

Just think, even if you didn't know the answer you could still sound smart, simply by raising your hand and stating that "only God knows"; and that there was NO point in dicussing the subject any further because there are things that are simply beyond our realm of understanding. Not only would "Intelligent Design" have guaranteed me a FULL scholarship to the University of my choice; but none of my classes would have lasted five minutes!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The New York City Transit Strike

There's nothing like being the pawn in a labour dispute, is there?

I'm guessing that the Transport Workers Union MUST be a firm believer in the "Christmas Spirit" (or at least the exploitation of it) because had they decided to strike at any other time during the year, I'm pretty sure New Yorkers wouldn't have been so tolerant towards walking over 3 hours (each way) to get to work in the freezing cold.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The Bolivian Election & Drug Eradication Program

Can you guess what South America's NEW number one export is?... Coffee? No. Oil? No. Drugs? No. Pissing off the United States? BINGO!

You can read more about the Bolivian election here.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Today's Cartoon: NSA Wiretaps and Domestic Spying

In "Nineteen Eighty-Four" Orwell gave us his haunting interpretation of a totalitarian society, in which all citizens are placed under complete surveillance by a dictatorship; which take on the form of the mysterious "Big Brother".

While in "Beyond the Punchline" Robertson gives us his humourous interpretation of a totalitarian society, in which all citizens are placed under complete surveillance by a dictatorship; which takes on the form of the obnoxious "Little Brother" :)

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The Patriot Act

I thought I'd do a Saturday cartoon to make up for missing one on Monday.

I think to fully understand this one; you have to ask yourself... What does the "Patriot Act" and the cheap pair of "X-Ray" glasses have in common?

NO! Not that they can both be used to get old people naked... Why the HELL would YOU even think that?!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Today's Cartoon: The Iraqi Elections

Because you can't have a REAL democracy without a little bit of corruption, eh? Still, it's pretty funny that the Iraqi "Purple Finger of Freedom" is probably more reliable than the American "Diebold" system (out of which all of this was made possible). ...Irony?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

King Kong: The Great American Patriot?


I wonder... If George W. Bush doesn't read newspapers, do you think he watches movies instead?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

"Brokeback Mountain" & the Future of Hollywood


Well, if history is any indication; the critical acclaim of the film "Brokeback Mountain" could usher in a new era in Hollywood.

NO, not a turn towards producing more meaningful films that aim to challenge the audiences understanding of society, by questioning the most cherished symbols and deeply rooted sterotypes, which serve to both define and divide it; all in an effort to promote a message of tolerance, acceptance and understanding.

Are you kidding me? Hollywood only cares about its profits. Good news for fans of the Western. Get ready for more flicks with scruffy dudes in tight pants, kissing.

Hmmm, I wonder... if this helps resurrect the "Western" Genre then couldn't it also be used as a template to help the long suffering "Martial Arts" genre as well. Hey! Maybe, we'll get that long awaited Steven Segal/Jean Claude Van Damme "Buddy" movie afterall!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Cronulla and the Sydney Race Riots



I wonder if Paul Hogan is still the spokesperson for the Australian Tourist Industry. If so, I think I'd be asking for a raise right about now.